Don't be common....

It's Friday, life is full of amazing things, go out and find them, go out and BE them! Don't settle for common when you are the only YOU on the planet and only you can create your life. Put a little extra pep in your step today, take a risk, be optimistic, refuse mediocrity, laugh in the face of judgement or drama, rise above your current standard, and LIVE INSPIRED NOW!!!

7 Character Strengths: Gratitude

Gratitude is an attitude that improves every aspect of life! It would be challenging to be unhappy or pessimistic if you were truly grateful for every moment you have. In the current day and age, we tend to focus on doing and having more, accomplishments and achievements. Even personal development which should be about self actualization has become a "take massive action to achieve more" industry. We need to spend more time in the reflection of gratitude and acceptance of where we are on the journey. If we solely focus on our goals and achievement we will never enjoy where we are.
Teach children to be grateful for what they have, who they are, and for just waking up each day! Talk about gratitude, let the kids know what you are grateful for. Start a gratitude board and have everyone in the home post something they are grateful for each day. Teach them to be thankful for another day on earth and give them some perspective. Remind them that they have opportunities and luxuries that many other people in the world may never have. Tell them stories about the "olden days" when we didn't have cell phones and computers. (lol. olden days. lol) Ask the kids each night at dinner to recall something they were grateful for in their day. Teach kids to say thank you for everything as it reflects an attitude of gratitude. Take time out to celebrate accomplishments. Have ice cream to celebrate finishing a school project before rushing into the next one, or take the kids to the park to celebrate Spring.
So today, no matter what, just show gratitude as often as possible and encourage the kids to do the same. Even a "tough" life has an abundant amount of things to be grateful for if you are willing to see them. Be grateful, teach your children to the same and Live Inspired Now!

7 Character Strengths: Optimism

 

Optimism is one of my favorite character traits! I LOVE optimistic people, they are the nicest people to spend time with. Who wouldn't want to hang out with someone who is mostly happy, always knows that things will work out, and has a smile on their face? Optimistic people expect the best and aren't afraid to work toward the future, they get over set backs quickly and can weather storms much better than someone who focuses on the bad. For every bit of bad in the world, there is just as much good so it boils down to which we decide to focus on. Optimism takes practice and kids can learn it by watching parents have positive attitudes. You can encourage kids optimism by reading happy things, avoiding TV and the news, and helping them see how "bad" things often turn into blessings. You can also immerse them in optimism by sticking post it notes with positive quotes all over the house, writing a daily quote for them to read, smiling, telling them stories that have happy endings and laughing at things! Optimism is just so much darn fun!! A positive outlook will serve children well throughout life, it is a comfort to know that things always have a way of working out! 

So today, take a sip of happiness and share it with the kids! Look at the bright side and find opportunities to share laughter and joy and Live Inspired Now!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

7 Character Strengths: Zest

Zest is not just a brand of soap! It is an enthusiasm and excitement for all that you do; a desire to be active and feel alive! Children learn to be passionate about things by watching their parents get excited and from receiving encouragement for things they are good at. Passion is rarely produced by constantly pointing out what a child does poorly. Kids get excited about things when they are anchored in good feelings and emotions. If a child comes home excited about a new book or a new school project, spend time talking about it and show enthusiasm for your child's involvement. Encourage them to participate fully in whatever they are excited about.
My son Ethan learned to play chess at school and he was pretty excited about it. None of us play chess but Thad learned just so he could play with Ethan. After losing several times Ethan said he didn't want to play with dad anymore because he never got to win. I explained that losing was a GOOD thing because he was getting experience that he wouldn't have if he played against someone below his ability. I also told him that someday when he won, he would know that he had accomplished something that was difficult and could be proud of himself. Well it wasn't very long before Ethan DID beat Thad! Oh my goodness, you would have thought the kid won the lottery! It was great! He couldn't stop smiling and he told every person he knows! He also admitted to me that the victory felt so good because he knew he beat a challenging opponent and that gave him great satisfaction.
Kids don't get excited about everything but when they do, encourage them and look for opportunities to help them stay excited. So today, promote zest and passion in your kids, and in YOU as well and Live Inspired Now!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

7 Character Strengths: Social Intelligence

Albert Einstein said that "Information is not knowledge." We can learn tons of information, read thousands of books, study for countless hours, but if we cannot interact on a social level then what good is all that information? Knowing how to interact with both individuals and groups of people is a valuable skill. Kids should learn to try and understand the feelings of others, how to resolve conflict, as well as how to act, react and interact with others. Make sure they have opportunities to spend time interacting with other people and that you are modeling good social interactions for them. Talk to them and explain human psychology as well. Help them understand why people say and do things and ask them how they might have responded differently. Teach them what is appropriate. Kids should learn manners and how to show respect to others. Explain the consequences of poor social skills. Let them know that people may choose not to be around them if they act inappropriately which is a real world consequence. Let's face it, the guy who is rude in his interview won't get the job, the "date" who goes on and on about past negative relationships won't get invited back out, and the friend who talks bad about everyone else is likely to end up friendless.
So today, if you haven't, start teaching your children about social intelligence. Help them to have healthy interactions with others so they won't grow up feeling isolated or lonely. Have healthy relationships with kind people and model good social interactions. Raise socially and emotionally healthy children because relationships are the most important things we have in life and Live Inspired Now!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

7 Character Strengths: Self-Control

Lao Tzu said "He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." Teaching kids self control is probably one of the most valuable character traits a person can learn. Self control is what keeps kids from participating in risky or dangerous behavior, it promotes confidence and instills a sense of security with the knowing that they are in control. Kids can learn self control through sports, karate or similar disciplines and by teaching them to wait or earn things. A common cultural norm these days is to give children everything. It may feel good to give lots of things to your children however it prevents them from learning to appreciate anticipation and the value of earning. When my kids were young, we had a "puffy jar." The puffy jar was a large vase and when the kids did something extra special they would get a puffy (cotton ball) to add to the jar. When the jar was full, we would do something special like go to the movies or go buy a new toy or something fun. The puffy jar taught them that they could earn things, they learned how much fun it was to anticipate, and they learned self control because they knew the only way to get the treat was to fill the puffy jar rather than begging, nagging or tantrums.
There are many different ways to instill self control but by far the most effective way is to model it. Kids won't always listen but they will always watch what you do and imitate it. So today, think about how you can give your kids the gift of self control, model good habits, and Live Inspired Now.

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

7 Character Strengths: Curiosity

 

Wisdom begins in wonder and we all start out curious. Look at the way babies and young people discover their world. They try to put everything in their mouths, they hear everything, and they ask millions of questions. Every parent has gone through the "why" phase with their child at some point. Kids are so curious and that is what helps them discover new things, learn and become creative. It is our role as parents to encourage curiosity and allow kids permission to discover their world. When kids take an interest in discovering new things, they create a blue print for their life. They are figuring out what they like and dislike, they are gaining perspective, they are learning how things work, they are playing creatively, finding new purposes for things, and learning valuable skills that will serve them well in adulthood. 

Sometimes parents will discourage kids from experimenting because the parent already knows the outcome but that won't help the child learn. Or the parent may impose limits on the child because they lacked opportunities. Allow the child to try things and discover their potential. For example: My daughter Carrie used to love to do "science experiments." She once put just about everything she could get her hands on into the freezer to see if it would actually freeze. I could have just told her what would happen but that would not have created an opportunity for her to learn on her own. Or I could have told her that because I did not excel at Math that she had no shot of becoming a scientist. This would not have served her and it would have created a false belief and limitation that could have instantly discouraged her from pursuing a passion. Because I fostered her curiosity though, her passion for experiments remained, science is her favorite class and she dreams of being an anthropologist. 

Curiosity creates an eagerness and passion for learning and discovering. So today, don't squash a child's curiosity, let the child discover something new on their own and Live Inspired Now!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

7 Character Strengths: Grit

Today I will be talking about "grit" which means finishing what one starts despite obstacles or challenges. This is something we could all work on, not just kids. Many people will quit something that becomes too challenging or only look for jobs/work that will be easy for them in order to ensure their success. Encourage kids to try new things and allow them to figure out solutions to problems. The "hover parent" has a hard time raising independent and resilient kids because they are constantly hovering and fixing the child's mistakes. Allow kids to mess things up so they can figure out how to fix things themselves. Trouble shooting is a highly desirable skill but if they are always rescued from their mistakes, they never learn how to problem solve. Since they wont be equipt to handle problems, they could come to really dislike challenges, and thus becoming under-achievers. 
Instill grit by allowing kids to do things on their own and without fixing their mistakes. You can let them know you are there if they need something but tell them "I know you can handle it!" Encourage them to show you what they have accomplished and praise their efforts. Let them know that failures are actually great rewards because they teach them valuable lessons and strengthen their skills.
So today, teach your kids about grit, allow them to do things and fix their own mistakes and Live Inspired Now!

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHARACTER TRAIT AND REGISTER FOR THE "STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY" TELECONFERENCE!

Character Traits...

 

Education is important but it's not the ONLY thing that is important. What if you have a child that doesn't excel in school, does he feel like the "stupid" fish? Do you build up his strengths which enables confidence? Do you allow him to make mistakes without over-criticizing, which promotes curiosity? Children need to learn character traits even more than they need a traditional education. Studies have proven that children who have strong character traits are far more successful than those who are strong academically.  
There are the 7 character traits a child needs to succeed: Grit, Curiosity, Self-control, Social intelligence, Zest, Optimism, and Gratitude. I will be going over one of these each day for the next week until March 28th when I co-teach the "Strengthening your Family" teleconference. Please register today... the teleconference will enhance your parenting and strengthen your family immediately. 
All kids are smart and there is more than one way to measure their success! Please register for the upcoming workshop, learn how to raise amazing kids and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Be sure to bookmark this page and come back tomorrow for a post on the first character trait!

I promise....

Choose your words carefully and then live by them. Love is a beautiful gift, not a tool to get what you want. Don't offer love in order to get something in return and think about who you are giving your heart to. Be sure the person you offer your heart to is someone who will honor the commitment. Every person on earth is worthy and deserving of love BUT not every person is ready for the responsibility of commitment. Make sure the person you give your heart to, or who offers you their heart is on the same page as you. The promise of love that lasts is made with honor and integrity. So today, honor your promise to love or if you can't, be more careful about the next promise you make and Live Inspired Now!

Be the observer....

Yesterday Thad and I arrived early for an appointment so we had the opportunity to sit and "people watch" for a bit. We people watch often but this time was particularly fun and I got thinking about being a life observer. So many people walk around and see only what effects them, they never observe the bigger picture. They never see how others are effected and they rarely observe the emotions of others. As we sat there watching an unhappy man give the cashier a hard time, I thought about how she must feel. Based on what I observed, everyone around this unhappy man was effected. The cashier seemed like she felt bullied, the man in line behind the unhappy man was getting frustrated and threw his hands up in the air. Even Thad was annoyed with the unhappy man as he kept staring at me. I wondered if the unhappy man had any consciousness at all or if he knew the way he was impacting others... he didn't seem to. I wondered what made him act this way. Was he hurting, did he feel rejected, did he just get some bad news, was he tired or overwhelmed, did he feel lonely or maybe he was just a participant and not an observer, never taking anyone else into account besides himself. I don't know the answers but I did enjoy observing without getting emotionally involved in the interactions. It is important to observe, to take a look at the bigger picture now and then, to realize we impact others and always to Live Inspired Now.

You can learn HAPPINESS!

Happiness is a choice and that choice can take practice if you have spent your life as a pessimist or if you have been consistently choosing to be unhappy. Surround yourself with others who are HAPPY. Hire a coach who can support you through making better choices. I tell all of my clients that your new life takes practice but it gets easier with time. Just like quitting smoking, breaking negative thinking takes time and practice. Don't give up, don't give in, just do what you have to do! If you catch yourself falling back into old patterns of negativity or "depression," stop what you are doing, relax and give it some thought. You can either indulge in misery or make a choice to change your focus and put your energy into healthy and happy thoughts. The fastest way to happiness is to concentrate on the needs of others rather than always focusing on yourself. Practicing happiness is not something you do here and there, now and then. If you truly want to implement happiness as your default, then you need to practice and immerse yourself in it every moment. Claim your new happy life by settling for nothing less, take steps to remind yourself and encourage your journey and Live Inspired Now!

Shortcuts are not short....

The only shortcut is to stop taking shortcuts. People are always looking for the shortcut to success instead of being consistent with what works. You don't need another crazy diet fad, a get rich quick scheme, or a new marketing strategy... you need to stick with what works. Yes, it may take some time but consistent focus and action will always yield more results than cutting corners or trying to manipulate your way to success. Take your time, do what works, stick to it, and Live Inspired Now!

Life is simple...

Life is as simple as you will let it be. The most profound things in nature happen effortlessly, without worry, anxiety, stress or misery. Grass grows, trees reach out their branches, wind blows, snow falls, gardens grow, flowers bloom, seasons change, things are born, things die and it is all done without any thought or worry... it is just nature. We too are part of nature yet we complicate everything with thoughts about what will be or what has been. When we live in each individual moment and decide to truly enjoy it, we can live more effortlessly. If you can't enjoy the present moment you are in, you have two other choices. Either do something else or decide to accept it and know that it will not last.
Today, participate in the moment, forget the past and don't obsess on the future,  know that life will work out exactly how it is supposed to, and Live Inspired Now!

Altruism

Too many people are focused on what they are NOT getting in life rather than what they can give. If you give what you want, you will also receive it. I get calls/emails daily from people who want me to fix their significant other because he or she is not giving them what they need. Rarely does anyone ever call and say "I think I need to consider my partners needs more in order to strengthen our relationship, can you help me?" I have been talking about self awareness for a month now and I just can't state it enough. The more self aware you become, the more focused on giving and the more you can practice non reaction, the more fulfilling life will become. If you give love you feel love, if you give compassion you feel compassion, if you cause drama you feel drama and if you spread hate, you feel hatred. It really is that simple.
If your partner is acting badly, think about what they might be dealing with, try to be compassionate and keep your cool. (We are talking about normal upset or angry reactions, NOT abuse. Abuse is never OK.) Wait until the storm passes then talk to your partner, find out why they are upset and give them time to express their feelings without internalizing it, without assuming you are the cause. Most disagreements or misunderstandings stem from one person taking offense to their partners feelings. Feelings are valid but do some work and figure out where they actually come from rather than "blaming" everyone else. We all have the choice to act or react to every moment. Don't be so unaware that you just assume everything is about you. Focus on what you can give to your relationship and to the world while remembering to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is also doing good for others because you are setting a good example as well as making your environment more pleasant which makes it easier for you to continue to focus on doing more good! The cycle of altruism is one of the best gifts you could ever give to the world! So today, focus on giving what you want to the world, become more self aware and evolved and Live Inspired Now!

Avoid the drama!

Drama is highly addictive and can cause real problems in life. Drama is the need to turn everything into something huge to satisfy a large need for significance. We all know the people who turn mole hills into mountains. The people who stub their toe and it turns into the worst injury in the history of the planet, in fact "the doctor has never ever seen anything like THIS!" Or how about the person who knows everything about everyone.... perhaps you contact this person when you have news to share because you know if you tell her that she will let EVERYONE else know! Or perhaps you know someone who start arguments in their relationship because they are bored or unhappy.
All of these things are "drama" and can become addictive. Drama can make you feel important because you are getting all the attention. It also gives you a sense of adventure because of the heightened emotions and adrenaline. It also makes you feel connected to the people who buy into your drama and you feel secure knowing that you have others hooked. This is enough to create a serious addiction to drama. It is no different than getting your needs met by a drug and it creates damaging habits that stimulate brain chemicals that create that "drama high."
Become self aware and stop the drama! Find ways to feel important through acts of kindness or altruism. Create bonds that don't rely on manipulation or drama to stay together. Build your relationship on peace, love and giving to one another. Meet your need for adventure through healthy activities like exercise, hiking or something fun that you don't often do. You could also kill your TV. Television, especially reality TV, is the king of drama. It sensationalizes life and gives you a false sense of reality which can make you feel like your own life is uneventful.
So think about it... do you know anyone who is addicted to drama? If you don't know anyone at all... is it you? Kill the drama, create real relationships and bonds, find healthier choices and Live Inspired Now!

Shopping is not therapy......

Money is an awesome tool and it allows you to do many things that you can't do without it. However, it will never buy you feelings of happiness or put you at peace. Peace and happiness come purely from within. No amount of porcelain figurines, dainty rose teacups, sports memorabilia, primitives, or new furnishings will make you happy. Your happiness depends 100% upon your choice to be or not to be. Our country is inundated with plastic crap made in foreign countries that we think we need yet, people remain "unhappy." We all like to have nice things and there is nothing wrong with that but know that those things are just that... things. They possess no powers to make us happy, no peace making abilities and certainly don't do anything to change your station in life. Shopping is not therapeutic; there is nothing you can buy that will make you happy. So today, instead of shopping for more things to dust off, take a walk in nature, meditate, smile for no reason, focus on all the things you already possess within and Live Inspired Now!

Contentment....

Be content with what you have even if you want more. Contentment is about being happy where you are with what you have. Part of that contentment is being OK with where you are on your journey. You might want to go further or get more in life but be content with what you have at the moment. For example, I am working towards getting my book published as well as working on a few other new projects yet each day, I am completely content where I am in the process. Life is about the journey not just the destination. Be content along every step of the way, live and enjoy every moment! So today, don't focus as much on "getting" or "arriving," rather enjoy each and every moment and Live Inspired Now!

Healthy adult, healthy child...

The most important thing you can ever have as a parent is a good relationship with your child. Talk to them, kick their butts when they need it, laugh with them, ground them, eat dinner with them, listen to them, encourage them, smile at them, compliment their art and craft creations, allow them to be open and honest and you do the same, set boundaries, be a good example, get to know their friends, celebrate their accomplishments, reward their kindness, act goofy together, tell them you love them, hug them before they leave each day, check up on them, watch their games, empower them to make good choices, give them responsibilities, tell them they are beautiful/handsome, but most of all, always be present and available. When all is said and done... all that really matters is that you have a relationship with your child and that relationship lasts into adulthood. Being a parent is not easy and often our kids don't like our decisions but in the long run they know you are just looking out for their best interest. My daughter Mattie told me yesterday that she was glad she didn't have facebook or a cell phone anymore because it forced to her to not participate in the teenage drama that all girls her age are drawn in to. It gives her an "out" from the drama and she can "blame" us for it although she is actually grateful. Kids need boundaries and even if they don't seem to appreciate them, they do, because it takes a great deal of pressure off of them. Don't be afraid to make the tough parenting decisions, to dish out consequences for bad behavior, or to get your child help if he or she needs it. Parenting is challenging but the reward is a healthy adult that brings grand babies or even grand fur babies home to visit. :) So today, talk to your children, you didn't raise them to ignore them, spend some quality time, be the example of a healthy, happy adult and Live Inspired Now!

PS: If you need help in your family with a challenging relationship, please do not wait... contact me today for help.

PPS: Sign up for the parenting workshop coming up in a couple of weeks:
Strengthening Your Family... Parenting through all ages and stages!

Rock bottom....

Don't be afraid of feeling lost or down. Rock bottom is most often the starting point to awesomeness! Nobody ever makes changes when things are OK or when you are not in crisis even though you may feel uninspired or stuck in the mundane. People make changes when things "get bad" or when they get to a point where they say "I can't stand it anymore... things need to change now!!!"
Sometimes, hitting rock bottom is a gift, it gives you the opportunity to recreate your life the way you want it! Take advantage of it today! Recreate your life, learn from the lessons of hardship, start over with better choices and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Need help? Contact me today if you are ready to recreate your awesome life!

Talk to your kid!

Every painful emotion that is not faced in childhood can become a huge problem in adulthood. It either causes a child to build a wall or to suppress emotions which create painful scars that are stimulated by events throughout the rest of a child's life. A child living in a home where the parents fight and are unhappy shows the same symptoms of stress and trauma as a child who was raised in a war torn nation. The best thing you can do for a child like this is to encourage them to discharge their feelings, otherwise those feelings become the basis for their choices later in life. They may become emotionally unavailable, abusive, victims of abuse, or even lonely because the walls erected prevent them from getting close to anyone. Be there for a child, listen to them, and allow them to say whatever it is they need to say. Encourage them to be open and honest and say even the "scary things." This amount of honesty will create a deeper bond between you but it will also validate the child's feelings so that they can move past them. Some children may be ashamed of their feelings but letting them know that it is OK to have emotions and to talk about how they feel can put them at ease. Most people are more afraid of the feelings they have MORE than what actually created the feelings.
So today, start building a habit of openness with your child, encourage honest communication, raise kids that become healthy adults, and Live Inspired Now!

Treat yourself!!!

Do something nice for yourself today! We should treat ourselves much better than we often do. We need to take time to "treat" ourselves. That may mean taking a break to relax, getting a massage, taking a day off, stopping for a sweet treat or drink, taking a walk outdoors, or maybe for you it means saying something nice to yourself. Today, do something kind for yourself, give yourself a treat and Live Inspired Now!

How do YOU handle change?

How do YOU get into the water? Do you take the plunge and dive right in? Do you dip your big toe in and complain about how cold it is? Do you get only your lower half in and walk around on tip toes shivering? Do you jump in like a cannon ball trying to make the biggest splash? Do you try to dive in with the perfect form of an Olympic diver and then judge your dive? Or do you just sit on the side and watch everyone else having fun?
Does the way you get into the water reflect the way you approach life? Are you willing to jump right into new things? Do you resist change and complain about it? Do you do things halfway then wonder why they don't work? Do you need to let everyone know what you are doing and get their attention? Do you aim to be perfect and constantly judge yourself? Do you refuse to get involved in anything new?
The way you get into the water may not be the same way you approach life but if it is.... are you OK with it? Change is a part of life, think about how you handle it and Live Inspired Now!

Get HIGH... naturally......

I love this image! I love having a visual of our brain chemicals and how we can take charge of our own feelings of happiness, love and over all well being. Here are some ways to boost the good chemicals!

Dopamine: Neurotransmitter that increases feelings of pleasure.
How to get more: Eat healthy, increase antioxidants (berries, green tea, plums, red grapes, beans and more,) exercise, get enough sleep nightly and take healthy supplements. 

Serotonin: Neurotransmitter that increases feelings of well being and happiness.
How to get more: Eat foods rich in tryptophan (eggs, soybeans, salmon, tuna, shrimp, turkey, and more,) exercise, get plenty of sunlight or full spectrum light bulbs to substitute, take healthy supplements.

Oxytocin: Hormone released that creates bonding; nicknamed "the love hormone."
How to get more: Hugs, physical touch, child birth, sex/orgasm, watch a "tear jerker," adventures with your partner, work out together, social media interactions, playing and snuggling with your pet.

YOU have the power to make yourself feel good naturally! If you would like more information, please register for the Pathways to a Stress-Free Life and Live Inspired Now!

Learning from home....

I love learning new things that will enhance my life! I also love teaching what I know. Today I am preparing for my Pathways to a stress-free life workshop which is next week. Teleconferences are a great way to learn something new without breaking the bank. You get to listen and learn from experts from the comfort of your own home! So today, please check out the upcoming workshops that I am offering: Upcoming Workshops, sign up, learn something new and Live Inspired Now!

YOUR beliefs?

If you are going to be so dedicated to your beliefs, at least make sure they are your own! So many people actually carry the beliefs of their parents or their peers and don't even realize they are not what they truly believe. It takes courage to challenge your own beliefs but the reward is great. You get to finally develop your own tastes, opinions, and convictions, but best of all.... you are finally free to be YOU! Our opinions form based on our life experiences or they are taught to us by others. For example: You might grow up with a fear of dogs because your dad hated dogs. He hated dogs because he was attacked as a child but you hate dogs because you learned it from your father. This is just one example but it is true for so many things. If you hate or judge a group of people or think you don't like something, or feel things are wrong.... think about whether it's YOUR opinion or not. Is this something you just blindly believe or is it something to be challenged? Challenge your beliefs that don't serve you or your fellow man then come up with more empowering beliefs for you and your family and Live Inspired Now!

Remember to celebrate!

Two years ago today, Thad and I got engaged. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. He proposed in the planetarium under the stars and we were married 4 months later. The wedding is over but the celebration should never end! Make time to celebrate your love and life together every day... even for a moment. Create and honor anniversaries! Thad and I celebrate: the day we met, our first date, the day we got engaged, our wedding day, and every day in between! Who says you only have to have one anniversary? Also remember; anniversaries are not excuses for gifts rather they are reminders to celebrate and be grateful. Always make time to celebrate the joy, passion, and love that you share and you will never have to worry about not sharing it anymore.
So today, celebrate an anniversary or even make up an anniversary... but celebrate! Recall fond memories together, spend time being close, honor your relationship and Live Inspired Now!

Modesty....

 

There are so many young people out there that are just starved for attention and will use their bodies to make themselves feel loved. This seems to be more prevalent in young women but is certainly not exclusive. I am seeing more and more young people that are wearing less and less clothes to get attention. Bear in mind here, I am no prude... I think it is totally fine to wear something risque sometimes and to feel sexy, but I do not think it is appropriate to use your body as a billboard to find a relationship. By exploiting your body, you are mostly going to appeal to the lowest common denominator anyway. A person who is truly interested in you, will want to talk to you and get to know you, not just jump into bed with you. It is desperately hard to try and convince a young person of this once they have crossed the line into sexuality. The chemicals produced by the brain when they are in an intimate relationship are addictive and make them feel great so they tend to hop from relationship to relationship in an attempt to never feel "bad" again. If you have young people in your life, especially young women, please talk to them about modesty. Encourage them to relate to people on a cerebral level first, to make real connections and to love themselves enough to wait until they are truly ready for intimacy. Teach them the difference between flattery and a true compliment. Let them know how wonderful it is to connect with another person on a deeper level of love, trust, and devotion rather than platitudes and false admiration. Have that talk with a young person in your life, let them know they are loved and Live Inspired Now!

Where inspiration comes from....

People often ask me, "Where do you get the inspiration to post every single day?" I tell them "from LIFE!" Life is so full of inspiration in every moment. You just have to be willing to detach from your expectations long enough to see the magic. I think of topics for posts after watching movies, talking to friends, from my daily experiences and from things I see, feel, hear, and even taste! I also gear my posts to things I might be working on with a client at the time. I was looking at a cup hook once and thought up a great inspired post! Living "inspired" means seeing the beauty in and learning a lesson from every moment we are blessed with. You should try it! Stop what you are "doing" and start "being." Recognize the amazing awesomeness in every breath of life, find the inspiration in every magic moment and Live Inspired Now! 

Fill your cracks with gold....

It has been said that when the Japanese repair something that has been broken, they fix it with gold because they believe the cracks are historical and beautiful. This is true with people too. When you make a mistake or do something you regret, fill yourself up with something better. Wallowing in guilt, sadness, or drama won't make the situation better than it was. Fill yourself up with positive actions toward repairing what you broke. Maybe that means apologizing, getting help, taking drastic steps to ensure you won't make the same mistake, or sometimes it just takes time and patience. Be proactive and take positive steps: hire a coach, read self help books, learn new behaviors and become self actualized. We all make mistakes but it's the choices we make after the mistake that determine the full extent of the damage. Will you prolong the suffering and create lots of drama around it or will you fill your cracks with gold? 
Today, take out the tools needed to fill your cracks with gold and turn your mistakes into lessons that will make you stronger and wiser and Live Inspired Now!

Recovery.......

Last night a friend of the family came over for dinner. He is a young man (19) that is going through recovery from drug and alcohol addiction; he has been sober for 5 months. At my request, he was kind enough to share his story with our children. We all sat and listened as he told us about his drug addiction, the ways in which he funded it and all the horrid circumstances that resulted. Then he shared with us how difficult it was to get clean and how hard it is dealing with all the destruction that he created. He encouraged our kids to do whatever they had to do in order to make good and healthy choices and to avoid all drugs and alcohol.
We have had (and still have) several family member that are addicts and I was grateful that our children were able to speak with an addict that is in recovery. It was nice for them to see that you can get sober if you prioritize it. I also appreciated him letting the kids know how much he wished he had just made better choices and not used drugs, not stolen from people, not broken important relationships and mostly how he had to relearn how to do everything all over again... clean.
Our kids asked several questions and we gave him a round of applause for his sobriety and offered our continued support while he is in recovery.
As you all know I am a huge supporter of real, honest and open communication with children and the drug and alcohol conversation can't be had too much. Let them know how you feel about drug use, don't say "Your gonna try it anyway but....." Never assume a kid will make a bad choice, give them the opportunity to make good choices, keep them informed, let them know the effects of drug use and be open to questions. The more they learn from YOU, the less they will learn from friends or other influences at school or on the bus. So today, have an open conversation about drug and alcohol use with your kids, let them know your personal values for your family and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Need support or advice on how best to speak with your kids? Please contact me today! The conversations your have today build the foundation for the choices kids make tomorrow.

Confidence Building....

Want to achieve more self confidence? The best way to do that is to focus on helping or contributing to others. Lack of self confidence is actually conceited in that it is all about you. YOU are not good enough, YOU are not thin enough, YOU are not smart enough or YOU aren't good enough for love.... all focus on YOU. This thinking is self focused rather than self actualized. Self actualization is when you accept who you are and are fulfilling your full potential; or at least working toward it. Self focus is when you solely focus on yourself, you are not trying to grow or evolve rather just thinking about yourself, your needs or what you lack.
If you want to have more self confidence, start to think about what you can do to help others. You could volunteer, mentor a child, help a friend, offer your time and resources, whatever it is... just take the focus off of yourself. Put the focus on lifting others up and your confidence will automatically build. Turn that self "focus" into self actualization and evolve as a person. So if you lack confidence, find local volunteering opportunities, focus on building someone else up while you evolve and Live Inspired Now!

Matter of fact kids.....

When speaking with children always use what I call "matter of fact" speaking. Oh man, I could go on for days with this one but I will keep it brief. Basically, kids understand way more than we think they do! We all face challenges and tough times in our lives but trying to "shield" kids from that is just not realistic. Let the kids know what is going on with age appropriate words and matter of fact speaking by being honest and open. For example: if your child's other parent won't call or spend time with the child, do not call him names and tell him his dad is a jerk. Simply state the facts as you know them and show that you care. "I am sorry your dad has not picked you up for visitation in a month. How do you feel about that?" Then, let the child guide his own feelings..... when you say "I'm sure that makes you feel sad" you are implying your own feelings to the child. Maybe the child isn't really sad, maybe he is angry or maybe he is actually OK with it all...... whatever the case may be, do not guide his emotions with your words. This allows the child to express their true feelings and it validates how they feel. If you think the kids "don't hear you arguing because you don't do it in front of the kids" you are wrong. Kids see how mom and dad act, react and interact.... if you are having challenges, let the kids know. It is OK for them to know that Mom and Dad are working through difficulties but it is not OK for them to think this behavior is the norm and we just pretend it doesn't exist.
So today, be matter of fact when speaking with your children, value them and understand how perceptive they are and Live Inspired Now!

PS: If you have a child that is struggling, please contact me right away. I have effective and simple programs and coaching designed specifically for children that will get them back on track. (Divorce, sadness, bullying, school concerns, relationship issues, parent/child communication...... I have the tools to help you in all of these areas and more!)

Turn off autopilot...

Many of us have walked through life on automatic pilot, just getting through the day without ever engaging in it. We wake up, go to work, come home, dinner, TV then bed and we just do it over and over without every really examining why. Why would we bother living a mundane existence when life can be so expressive, creative, fun and full of passion? It is time to sniff the peppermint and wake yourself up! FEEL something, CREATE something, DO something, do SOMEONE :) and find a way to fully express your inner passion and desires. Do not walk around in a fog, just doing the same thing you have always done. Try something new, get excited about something, schedule something to look forward to and get your family or friends involved. If nothing else... listen to something that makes you laugh so you can FEEL again and get rid of the numbness. Try it today, turn off autopilot, you will be amazed by the possibilities when you start to pay attention and Live Inspired Now!

A break from reality!

Last night we all got to participate in Harry's weekly video! It was so much fun!! We all had to just be normal but then we got dressed all weird and acted crazy. Everyone was having so much fun choosing weird clothes and trying to decide on the odd dance or motions they would make. Even if you are not going to make a video of it, get crazy with the kids! Have some fun, break away from reality even for a few moments! So tonight, blast some loud music, dress up like weirdos, laugh your butts off and Live Inspired Now!

Total immersion....

I often hear people say they wish they could change, they wish they would have a better attitude or they just wish they didn't feel so down. Then the go and sit in front of the television and watch crap, with a bag of crap and wonder why they feel like crap. If you want to make a change, you must be willing to immerse yourself in it! If you want a more positive outlook, the fastest way to achieve that is to live and breath positivity. Read positive books and blog posts, talk to positive people, listen to inspiring music and avoid all negative influences. This is true no matter what you want to accomplish.... total immersion is the quickest way to get what you want. Want to find true love? Immerse yourself in love.... dedicate yourself to giving love to everyone, read relationships books/blogs, hang out with people that have great relationships and tell people you love them. (This is also a wonderful way to repair any hurt that you have.... dedicate yourself to giving to others.) So today, figure out what it is that you truly want. A more positive outlook, to feel wonderful, to find love, to appreciate life more? Then, immerse yourself fully, live and breath it. You don't become an excellent swimmer by just dipping your toes in the water; you have to jump in! Completely immerse yourself in what you want most and Live Inspired Now!

PS: If you need support... feel free to contact me. I will help you get where you want to be!

Don't forget to CELEBRATE!!

Too many awesome things happen each and every day that go un-celebrated. We should spend much more time in a happy and joyous state of celebration. No matter what day it is, if you woke up you have something to celebrate. Yesterday, a friend of mine shared the good news that after months of testing and worrying, she has no cancer to worry about! Yay!!! I told her to go and celebrate and she said she would after she rested because she had not slept well in weeks. I am so grateful that she can stop worrying now but I thought about it: what good did any of that worry do? Worry will never make the problem go away but it could make you sick. Life presents challenges that can be so hard to deal with but as long as life continues to present those challenges, it means we are ALIVE! Don't lose the precious time you are afraid to lose by worrying about losing it. That was confusing. lol. The point my dear readers... CELEBRATE being alive! Never miss a week, a day a moment of joy that comes when you are truly grateful for life and love. Make time to celebrate today, you will never be this young again.... Live Inspired Now!

Free yourself!!!

Kick the negative and destructive thoughts and emotions to the curb! Are you ready to be free? Are you tired of drama, suffering, jealousy, negativity, fighting, manipulating or being controlled? You can be free, just decide to be! Freedom comes from a peaceful surrender with the realization that you control nothing except for yourself and you can CHOOSE not to participate in anything that doesn't bring peace to your soul. If you need some help doing this, hire a coach but do not spend one more day being a prisoner in your own personal hell. Life is too short to be a slave to your own self destruction. Be free, love unconditionally, chill out and Live Inspired Now!

PS: If you need help or support, please feel free to contact me. I would love to help you find peace from destructive patterns or emotions.

Adventure Time!!!

You can't tell by the picture, but I do have a snowboard strapped to my feet. Thad was able to catch one of the few shots of me upright on the board! lol. We took the kids sledding/boarding yesterday with friends. We all had a blast but it got me thinking about how all too often people don't try new things or are afraid to venture out of that comfort zone that we mistakenly think keeps us safe. Life is a great adventure with so many opportunities for excitement, joy, fun and new experiences! Don't miss all the fun... life is about getting out and experiencing all you can instead of watching others do it on TV. So today, get out and have an adventure. Maybe not snowboarding, but perhaps sledding or skiing or even just some diversion from routine! Enjoy the adventure of life, take in every moment, experience all you can and Live Inspired Now!

Stick together....

Wow we got a bunch of snow here on the East Coast! Like the snowflakes, when we stick together, we as people are an indestructible force for good! So today, help your neighbors, check on one another, stay warm, keep safe and Live Inspired Now!

LIVE, don't just exist...

I feel a little overwhelmed this morning. It is just 9:00am now and so far I have dealt with death, disease, suicide, abuse, bad parenting and a struggling relationship. I am so grateful for what I do, I am beyond grateful that I am able to offer help and guidance to those in need. The part that overwhelms me though... is the idea that there is so much suffering and such easy solutions that people do not seek out. I am grateful for my clients and friends but I worry about the people who don't know that they can change their lives, that they can enjoy passion and feel free and alive. Too many people are just existing and not really living. They get caught up in drama and suffering and forget what it feels like to really be alive; to feel the wind on your face, the sun in your eyes, the excitement of love, the pounding of your heart, the anticipation of things to come, the joy in remembering fondly, the cuteness of animals, the hope that he likes you back.... all the amazing feelings and emotions that let us know we are alive! Don't numb out, don't forget to love life, don't be afraid to ask for help if you have and don't be afraid to remind someone else. We only get one chance, take it, make the most of this life and Live INSPIRED Now!

PS: Clients, friends and callers from last nights teleconference, THANK YOU all so much for your positive feedback and testimonials. I am so grateful to you all and honored that you allow me to be part of your world! :)

Love is....

People often comment about my relationship with Thad; they mention how lucky we are to enjoy such a wonderful relationship. It's true... we do have an incredible relationship but luck has nothing to do with it. We work at it! Granted, it's not hard work... it is very easy because we know how to do it. We always put one another first, we apologize if we say or do something to hurt the other, we make time for each other and we always communicate openly, honestly and often. We have never once had an argument or "fight."
I share this today because tonight my colleague Peg Haust-Arliss and I are doing a relationship teleconference. If you would like to learn the tools needed to make a relationship incredible, please join us! This workshop is appropriate for everyone: singles, couples, people in healthy or unhealthy relationships. This workshop will teach you how to interact better with everyone in your life! Please join us: DIY: RELATIONSHIP REPAIR TELECONFERENCE and Live Inspired Now!

Pick a hero...

Pick a hero, someone who inspires you or someone you admire and learn everything you can about them. How they got to where they are, why they wanted it, where they started and who helped them along the way! It doesn't have to be someone famous, it can be anyone that you are inspired by. It will help you along your journey to hear the stories of people you admire and it might give you ideas of how to get where you want to be. I don't care who it is... everyone has struggled at some point, learn about your hero's struggles and how they got through them. Let your personal hero be a shining example of what CAN be done! No matter what you are struggling with: drugs, alcohol, stress, disease, parenting or relationship challenges, work or career troubles, no matter the struggle, SOMEONE before you has overcome this and so can you! You can do it! Immerse yourself in the inspiration of others, learn from your hero, use their path as a guide for your success and Live Inspired Now!

Guilt sucks!

Guilt is your inner voice that tells you that you should not be doing whatever you are doing. If you don't like feeling guilty, then stop the action that is creating the guilt. Live in alignment with your core values, make choices with integrity not selfishness and never make it your goal to harm anyone. Also remember... everything you do, you model that behavior for your children. Don't burden yourself with guilt, make positive choices that you can feel good about and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Please don't forget to register for our worldwide teleconference- DIY: Relationship Repair happening this Thursday at 7:00pm eastern time USA. 

Life's not so serious...

Life is only as serious as you make it. Spend some time relaxing without worrying about everything... especially things you can't control. No matter how "serious" the situation is, take a deep breath, surrender to "what is," sit calmly and relax. Freaking out will never fix a situation, neither will dwelling on it. Always focus on what is positive in your life and avoid prolonged commiseration. Laughter can ease grief and pain and can help you through any tough struggle so try to find the humor in situations. If nothing else, put things into perspective and realize that no matter how bad you have it, someone else is still worse off so have compassion for them. Stay positive, be grateful, avoid negative focus, surrender, relax and Live Inspired Now!

One night vacation.....

Friday night Thad and I took the kids for an overnight in Rochester. We stayed at a nice hotel with a pool and hot tub. It was fun to get away for a night and the kids loved to be able to swim! The pool room was so toasty and warm and the water was relaxing. It is nice to get away once in a while and being able to swim was a nice break from the snow and cold. We also visited with one of my dearest friends Chris who lives up that way. What an awesome night... dinner out, visiting with an old friend, relaxing poolside and a bunch of excited kids! You don't have to spend a ton of money to get away for just one night. Look into hotels within 100 miles and take your family on a mini getaway and Live Inspired Now!

Remove the blinders...

If it is your choice to walk around with blinders on or to avoid looking into anything beyond your own beliefs, don't just assume everyone else is wrong. As you can see by the picture above, the world still exists beyond your box, you are just missing out on it. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, religion, opinions and what they focus on... just realize that so is 'everyone' else. Don't be like a little child who refuses to try a food yet insists they don't like it. You don't have to try everything but at least take the time to learn about it before you decide that you hate it and it's bad. Today, try removing the blinders, keep an open mind and learn about something you thought you were opposed to. You may still be opposed and that is OK but at least you can see that your way is not the only way. Appreciate the experience of seeing new ideas, learning about new cultures, keeping an open mind and Live Inspired Now!

Relationship Repair...

Do you understand the roles of masculine energy and feminine essence? (This applies to gay/lesbian couples too!)  Do you know what it means to live in alignment with your core? Do you want to make your relationship exciting, passionate, nurturing and fulfilling again? Please register NOW:

DIY: Relationship Repair

Thursday, February 7, 2013
7:00-8:30 PM EST (GMT - 5:00)
Enhance your current relationship; take it to the next level!
Find the right partner; learn how to choose your perfect mate!
Save a passionless marriage; reconnect, recreate, reunite!

Call in and listen from the comfort of your home as certified coaches, Heather Paris and Peg Haust-Arliss, present this thought provoking seminar that will immediately enhance your life and teach you the ways to live and love to your fullest potential. Learn to apply these skills to YOUR life... register now!

$20.00...register for this life altering how-to teleconference NOW by visiting my Upcoming Workshops page!

The Breakfast Club...

OMG... "The Breakfast Club" is one of my all time favorite movies! I think I may have to dig out the dvd and watch it this weekend! In the meantime, today I am joining friends for breakfast and we are calling it The Breakfast Club! I am so super excited! lol. When I lived in Rhode Island, my parents and I would often meet up for breakfast before starting our day. Now I have found another breakfast club to meet up with! :) Why not start your own club? Even if you only meet once per month, it is nice to spend some time with friends and catch up. So watch the movie "The Breakfast Club," then get together and bond with some of your friends for breakfast and Live Inspired Now!

Homemade toxic free soap!

Who wants to wash the germs off with toxic chemicals? I made my own liquid soap with a couple of recipes that I found online and combined to make my own. It makes quite a bit of soap so make sure you have several containers ready to use or reuse. I used a big refill bottle, a dish soap bottle and a flour canister. A gallon milk jug would have been more useful but we don't drink milk. Here is the recipe:

Peppermint Liquid Soap:
1 gallon water
2 tablespoons liquid glycerin
1 bar Dr Bronners peppermint soap bar
Several drops of peppermint essential oil

Grate the soap bar into a large pot, add water and glycerin. Heat on low/medium just until the soap shreds are melted, stirring occasionally (the soap melts pretty quickly.) Remove from heat and let it sit for 10 hours. After 10 hours, add several drops of peppermint oil, mix with an electric mixer. It will be gloppy and you will need to mix it for several minutes until it smooths out.

The soap smells so "pepperminty" and doesn't dry out your hands like store bought soap! It is nice knowing exactly what went into the soap and knowing that we are not washing with toxic chemicals. So today, make your own soap, try any number of combinations of soap bars and oil scents and Live Inspired Now!

You CAN afford it...

Very often I hear people say that they can't afford something when what they really should be saying is "I am choosing not to make this a priority." A smoker recently told me that she couldn't afford to buy certain foods because they were too expensive. While another person told me they couldn't afford therapy for their child who was in crisis yet they can afford other luxuries like cable and beer. I make no judgements here... I would never tell someone what they should spend their money on. I will however say that where you put your money, is what you are choosing to prioritize and it is your vote for what is important in your world. Many people make the choice to go without cable TV, name brand clothes, alcohol or cigarettes so that they can afford other things. In our parents and grandparents day, people always cut back when things were tight, but they cut back on luxuries, not necessities and they knew the difference.
Life is abundant and the free things are the most valuable in my opinion. You can take a walk for free, you can hike in the woods, look at a waterfall, listen to the birds, play with the kids and pets, share in conversation... oh the list is limitless. Enjoy the free things in life, spend your money on things that will enhance you or your children's lives and Live Inspired Now!