Thursday, January 30, 2014

1 FUN and easy way to make your day AWESOME!

This is a picture of the dry erase board in my kitchen. Each day I write something inspirational or motivational for the kids to start their day with. The kids love it, but it also gives me an opportunity to come up with something really positive too. It really creates a nice positive way to start my day and it sets a nice tone for the rest of the family as well. It's hard to feel down in the dumps, or gloomy when you start your day looking for something positive to share with the people you love!

So consider mounting a dry erase board in your kitchen and start your days off in a positive way! Incidentally, today's message about boredom is absolutely true! And with a dry erase board, if your kids get "bored," then allow them to go find inspirational quotes for you to post in the future! My favorite website for quotes is: I like to write my own quotes like today's about boredom, but if I am in a hurry, Quote Garden is an awesome resource!

Start your day off on a positive note, see how it changes your morning moods and Live Inspired Now!  

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Use this easy tip to turn your relationships around!

Have you ever felt really angry, frustrated, or irritated and then you ended up lashing out at people because of it? There is a way to have those feelings without causing so much damage and it is really simple. Learn to explain your non-positive feelings instead of expressing them!

Explaining how you feel (in a calm tone) rather than expressing yourself (using elevated tones and body language) makes it more likely that other people will listen and actually hear what you say. How many times have you said something in anger and the other person heard it in a way that was much worse than you intended? Your voice tone and body language are far more influential than the actual words you are saying.

You might yell "I am so irritated by you, why don't you ever put the lid back on the toothpaste when you're done?" But what the other person hears is "I hate you, you never do anything right!" It sounds crazy now as you read it, but this is so common! I hear from couples all the time about this. They hear the intention in the voice tone rather than the actual words and it causes bigger problems.

If you choose to explain your non-positive feelings, in a more calm manner, you can get your point across with a better chance of avoiding miscommunications. Try talking about your feelings instead of yelling, screaming, or judging and see how your communication changes! Feel free to express joy, elation, curiosity, and other happy emotions but explain the rest! See how your life, your relationships, and your stress levels change with this easy tip and Live Inspired Now!

Buy "Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness" today and get practical inspiration for your happy life!!!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Got a big decision to make?

Next time you have a big decision to make, ask yourself something: Will this bring temporary pleasure or long lasting joy?

Sometimes, temporary pleasure is OK. But, often we make large, life changing decisions based on the pleasure we receive in a moment. The comfort or pleasure of having an intimate encounter, or hitting the gas to blow past your friend on the highway, or even the insult you offered that "taught them a lesson." They may seem insignificant in the moment, but can have a much larger impact after the initial pleasure has worn off.

Think about the decisions you make, opt for the choices that offer long lasting joy. Please have some fun and do things that are pleasurable in the moment, but make sure they don't come at the expense of your long term dreams or desires. The restraint you show now may yield much greater success and joy in your future!

Consider temporary pleasure vs long lasting joy in your decision making and Live Inspired Now!

Buy "Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness" today and get practical inspiration for your happy life!!!

Monday, January 27, 2014

4 Vital Steps To Save Your Relationship During Rocky Times!!!

Storms are a natural and normal part of life no matter what climate you live in! The same is true in relationships.... storms are part of life. You can survive the storm if you are properly prepared. Just like making sure you have water, food, and other necessities during a weather storm, you need to know what to do for relationship storms too.

Follow these 4 vital steps to weather your relationship storms:

Awareness: Talk to one another about situations that may cause stress. You may not even realize when you are getting stressed out, so spend some time thinking about it. Maybe the morning rush is the catalyst that causes so many arguments? Or perhaps disagreements about parenting and what type of consequences the children should get? Become fully aware of where and when the storm begins to brew so you can address it.

Action Plan: During stress free times, create an action plan to follow during the storm. Come to an agreement on who has the final say in different scenarios should you come to a stale mate. Perhaps "you" have the final say on parenting consequences, but "I" have the final say on financial decisions. That is not to say that you both don't have valuable input, it's just a plan in case you can't agree. And you will eventually find a situation where you simply cannot agree on what should be done, but you can still agree on a plan that you both created for these types of situations.

Stay The Course: Don't give up on your plan, you created it for a reason and it will work if you stick to it. After the storm, you can re-visit your action plans and tweak them as needed but during the storm stay on track. Hold on to one another when the boat is rocking especially when the storm is rough! A united crew will save the ship.

Thank Your Crew: You are both "co-captains" of the ship, appreciate and thank one another. Gratitude is the antidote for anger! Celebrate the storm passing by spending time together, loving one another, and deeply appreciating that your relationship is strong enough to weather the storm!

Follow these simply steps to create a relationship that is stronger than any storm and Live Inspired Now!

Buy "Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness" today and get practical inspiration for your happy life!!!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

7 Ways To Cope With The Anxiety Of Others

It can be challenging when someone you love has anxiety. You might not know what to do, or how to react during their anxiety or panic attack. Everyone is different but here are a few tips to help you cope when someone you care about is dealing with anxiety. 

1 Be compassionate: Make an effort to understand where the anxiety is coming from. First of all, know that is not about you, but rather, how they are feeling about a situation. For example, they may have parenting anxiety and get upset when they don't know what to do about a child that won't stop crying. Understand that they might be concerned for the child's safety, it may be rational or irrational, but to them it is very real.  Because they can't stop the child's crying, they feel overwhelmed and out of control. Trying to understand where the anxiety stems from and realizing it is not about you will help you feel more compassionate toward the person suffering.

2 Resist the urge to engage: Make an effort to avoid getting sucked in. No matter how much someone is stressing out, you have the choice to remain calm. Imagine if the EMT (Emergency Medical Technicians) workers arrived at a car accident and they all started screaming and freaking out; nobody would ever be rescued. Picture yourself as an EMT worker, and you are there to help and remain calm during the crisis. You might not be able to "help" but by remaining calm, you can  prevent the situation from becoming worse.

3 Take a deep breath: Simple, I know, but most people forget this in the moment. Find peace in taking nice deep breaths, it will help to keep you grounded and focused.Make sure to breathe deeply enough to make you consciously acknowledge your diaphragm moving.

4 Validate their feelings and offer to help if you can: Say something like "I see that you are upset, how can I help?" or "I see you are struggling, would you like to talk about it?" They may not want your help (and that is OK), but at least you are making an effort to understand and help.

5 Walk away if you need to: If you find that you are unable to avoid reacting, or over-reacting, then simply walk away. Explain later that you had to get away, but it's better to walk away than to pour gasoline on the fire. Create healthy boundaries, even with people who are very close.

6 Communicate: Give everyone enough time to cool down, then talk about the situation. Talk about how the situation might have been handled differently, and express how you were feeling. You can even talk about creating an action plan for future anxiety attacks. Your loved one might appreciate you just taking a step back and not doing anything when they are anxious. Or they might have a specific phrase that you can say that will let them know you are there for them. Communicate honestly and openly with one another and you will get through anything!

7 Lay your weapons down: Pointing out your loved ones weaknesses will not help them. It can be scary and frustrating when your loved one is having an anxiety or panic attack. However, yelling at them, or judging them will never help them get better. If you want to express your love for them, create a safe place for them to be honest and open with you about what is going on. Encourage them to seek professional help. Offer to be supportive and continue to encourage while they are learning to overcome anxiety. Anxiety is not something you can just "stop doing" or "just focus on something else." It takes professional help to overcome so encourage your loved one to reach out for help. Note: many people are far more receptive to seeking help from a "life coach" rather than from a "therapist".

Most of all, do your best. We are not perfect, nor will we always react perfectly when someone we love is in crisis. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do your best, ask for help if you need it, learn as much as you can, be supportive and kind without compromising yourself, and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

What does YOUR relationship say about YOU?

If you have read my book, you know how many times I have been married. Yet, I still very much believe in the sanctity of marriage. With that said, I ALSO believe in marriage education! There is currently no school curriculum that teaches children how to enter into and maintain healthy relationships. If these relationships are not modeled for them at home, how will they learn?

With today's divorce rate being so high, and single parent households being so common, kids are rarely subjected to healthy and happy marriages or partnerships. I don't define marriage, I only encourage it to be healthy. Your family definition is your business, but teaching you to be healthy and happy is mine!

Not all marriages are meant to last, and how could they be? Too many people get so caught up in the excitement of the wedding, the drama, the attention, the fun that they forget the excitement will eventually come to an end. Once that happens, if they don't know how to communicate with their partner, the relationship will suffer. When the music stops, we need to know how to appreciate the silence. Love ebbs and flows, and we need to teach our young people how to weather the storm. Not only that, but we need to teach young people HOW to choose the right person for them. Young people NEED to know: the difference between love and infatuation, how to put one another first above all else, and to be completely vulnerable and honest with one another. Until we teach young people relationship skills, we will continue to have people getting divorced in record numbers.

During one of my recent speaking engagements, a woman, in her 50's, approached me after my talk. She stated that she was unhappily married to her second husband, and that she often took comfort in the fact that he was 20 years older than her, which meant that he may "die much sooner than me." She then went on to say "Oh, I know that is awful, but I often think about it." Here is what I said to her in response: "It isn't awful to say that, it's human. But do you want to be the type of human that wishes death for your spouse just so you don't have to take action? You have the opportunity every day to make changes!" I also mentioned that she wasn't really doing him any great favors by staying with him and that he might be happier to be alone than to be with a wife who dreams of his death.

This is not uncommon folks. I hear these types of things ALL THE TIME! What I don't hear a lot of though, is people taking personal responsibility for their own lives, choices, behaviors, and relationships. How much are you really doing to make your relationship work? Have you really considered your potential spouse in the long term? Have you read any books or taken any workshops about healthy relationships? Have you learned how to communicate effectively? And most of all, what steps are you taking to ensure your kids learn these skills?

Learn how to choose the right partner. Learn how to communicate in a manner that gets your point across without hurting your significant other. Learn some simple tools that will teach you how to have a successful relationship. Then, model that behavior for your children. Learn how to create lasting love, and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Please reach out to me today if you need help with your current relationship, or if you would like me to teach you how to pick a better partner going forward. I can give you the tools to make your relationships happy and healthy with the best possible chance of success! I look forward to helping you find true, lasting love! I can also teach you how to teach your children to have healthy relationships despite your current circumstances!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Did you un-learn happiness too?

Today I am off to Syracuse to teach two workshops titled "6 Easy Steps To Happiness" followed by book signings. I am pretty excited and have been preparing for a couple of days. During my preparations, I have been thinking about "teaching happiness" and the fact that there is a growing need for such a thing. People (and I was one of them) need to learn how to be happy again.

We are born fully equipped to be happy forever but through the process of growing and learning, we "UN-learn" how to be happy and joyful like a child. Growth is natural but growing cynical is not. That is something done to us by parents, teachers, media, friends, experience, and all other influences. So much so that we end up having to relearn how to be happy. Happiness is a choice. A choice that too many of us trade for security or comfort.

If you are unhappy, or not feeling fulfilled in life, find your bliss again! Please, read my book, read my blog, read any transformational material you can find and get your life back! Your time on earth is uncertain; Make the most of what you have and appreciate it while you have it. Reach out to those you love, do things that bring you great joy, try new things, and take some risks. Don't settle for mediocrity: live, love, play, sing, smile, laugh, skip, dance, call, speak up, kiss, hug, run, taste, listen, and take every opportunity to truly enjoy life! Then teach your kids to do the same so later in life, they won't have to take a class to remember how to choose happiness!

“People often sit for hours, even days, contemplating the meaning of life. I think it’s pretty simple; life is about being happy and being happy is about living inspired, loving fully, and being true to who you are. Choose happiness and Live Inspired Now!” -Heather Paris

Monday, January 13, 2014

Do you make it safe for your partner to be honest with you?

Have you made it safe enough for your lover to be completely and totally honest with you? If you have read my book, you know that I believe honesty is a keystone in relationships. There is never an excuse for a partner to lie, or be dishonest, period. However, you also must ensure you are making it safe for your partner to be that open.

I often hear that one spouse doesn't feel they can be honest because of the storm that will ensue if they are. It's as if they are partnered with their parent, or their boss, as opposed to a mate, lover, partner, or spouse. I hear that they will lie just because it is "easier" than telling the truth. It is "easier" than being yelled at, ridiculed, belittled, or abused. THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FOLKS!

Be your partners BIGGEST fan! Let them know that they are safe to express whatever they are thinking, feeling, or needing. Create a relationship that offers complete honesty, love, non-judgement, and support for one another and you will create a relationship that cannot be broken. The bond of honesty, trust, and true friendship can withstand any type of chaos!

Make sure your partner knows that it is safe to say things like: "I really don't want to be around your parents, can we come up with an alternative?" or "I was really mad when you texted me about XYZ. Let's talk about it because I don't want to start resenting you." or "I am feeling disconnected with you and I would like to do something together to get back on track." or even "So and so flirted with me at work, I ignored it and walked away but wanted you to know so it didn't seem like I was keeping something from you." If your partner can express these types of things to you, without feeling afraid of what you will do, you will have a very strong and honest relationship!

An exceptional relationship enjoys honest communication, deep connection, and true acceptance of one another. Today, be sure your partner knows it is safe to be honest. If they don't, start creating healthier habits in your relationship and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Want more advice on how to be happy, and have an awesome relationship? Buy my book 'Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness' today! Or contact me today for coaching and make all of your relationships awesome!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Exceptional things happen when you face a challenge!

Yesterday I decided to enjoy my favorite drink, a chai latte, at my local Barnes and Noble bookstore. I knew that my book was there in the store and I thought it might be fun to get a picture of myself with the book while I was there. I wanted to ask an employee to take the picture for me but I couldn't find one so I bravely asked a stranger. Yes, believe it or not, I am actually a little shy! Ask me to get up on stage in front of a crowded room; sure no problem! Ask me to approach a stranger in the bookstore and ask him to take my picture; totally out of my comfort zone!

I politely approached two men who were near my book and asked if they would kindly take my picture. The man in this picture, Daniel, was more than happy to take the picture for me. We talked about the book, he showed me a picture of his beautiful daughter, and then he purchased my book.... the last one on the shelf! He asked me to autograph it for him which I did, and I left the store feeling really awesome! I felt like a celebrity and it felt great! I was also thrilled that the store had sold out of my book! Later that day, a friend of mine went to the same store and she said they had put out more copies!

People often think I am so outgoing, and not afraid of anything. That is completely inaccurate. I am often very shy; I am an introvert and I am afraid of many things. I just spend a great deal of time OUTSIDE of my comfort zone. I never let fear prevent me from doing something and I practice being more extroverted. I know that the most exceptional things happen when I am challenged, so I don't run from things. I just figure out how to make them work and I keep trying until it works. My book, my marriage, my kids, my work, and my life are all reflections of this attitude! Step outside of your comfort zone and create some exceptional things in your life and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Recognize good customer service!

Last week I was at my local grocery store searching for soft tofu for a new recipe. Thad and I searched everywhere but could only find firm tofu. I found a young lady working in that department and asked her where I might find more tofu. She said she didn't know and walked away. That was it. No trying to help find it, no asking another employee. Nothing. So Thad and I continued to search on our own.

I met another store employee in a different department. "Excuse me sir, there is no soft tofu in the organic department, do you know where else it might be?" I asked. Well the response from this young man was much different! "Oh, hang on, let me go check!" and he ran around to a few different spots looking for my tofu. He returned quickly to state he couldn't find it, but was now going to check in back and ask a manager, so I waited. When "Johnny" returned, he apologized because he still couldn't find any but told me of 2 other stores in the area where I might find it. Now that was customer service!

I thanked him and marched straight up to the customer service desk. I asked the girl behind the counter for a customer comment card but like the soft tofu, they were out of those as well. I asked to leave feedback and she kindly wrote it down. I told her about how Johnny in the dairy department had gone out of his way to look for soft tofu and although the store was out, he was extremely helpful and made me feel taken care of. I never mentioned the first girl who did nothing.

In today's times, we barely get customer service so it's vital that we appreciate it when it happens! Most stores have turned to computers... Thad and I even ate at a restaurant in which you ordered and paid for everything on an iPad and the server only delivered it to your table. I am sure if they could get conveyor belts, the server would have been gone too! lol. Anyway... take time to recognize great service! A positive comment card could mean a great deal to the employee, maybe a raise, a promotion, and praise from the boss! So please make time to pay a service person a compliment, and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Today... I need YOUR help!

This was a few years ago, my friend Carrie and I at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, MA. And although it appears we might be at a rock concert, we were actually there to see the Dalai Lama! Carrie and I had so much fun! We piled into the stadium with everyone else, it was cold, we were tired, and we could barely hear from where we were sitting high up in the stadium, but we had a great time! Carrie and I have been friends since the mid 80's, we met in 9th grade in Romulus, NY and we remained friends throughout the years. We did have some arguments and stop talking here and there, but we always seemed to come back together, and it is always like no time has passed when we talk.

My friend Carrie is now facing the biggest challenge of her life. I will let you read the story in her own words on her site, but basically she is trying to heal herself from cancer. She has decided to take the holistic approach and I want to support her efforts. Holistic care is not covered by insurance so it all comes out of pocket and I would like to ask for your help! Carrie has a page set up to accept donations. Please consider visiting Carrie's page, reading her story, making a donation, and sending loving thoughts and vibes to her and her family.

Here is a link to help: Carrie Norton; Alternative Cancer Treatments

Thank you so much for your help!

With deep gratitude,

Heather Paris

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Baby, it's cold outside!

Oh baby it's cold outside! Today is a great day to get some things done around the house! With most of the schools and local businesses closed here in the Northeast, it seems we are all in the same boat... at home with the kids on an icy cold snow day! What else can you do besides make the most of it?

I have decided to take the day off from working, and make some delicious homemade goodies! Homemade bread, vegetarian corn chowder in the slow cooker, and some homemade cinnamon rolls for dessert. Now THAT sounds good and it's a great way to keep the kitchen warm too.

Days like today are great opportunities to complete indoor tasks that have been piling up. Maybe you have some household projects to finish, or some long over due paperwork to file, or maybe like me you can try some new recipes out. Whatever you choose, stay warm, stay safe, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, January 6, 2014

What is your mental age?

You will never be as young as you are today! Stop saying things like "I'm not as young as I used to be," or "I'm too old for that," because you are using words that create limitations in your head! You alone create your mental age and it doesn't have to match your years. I am 42 now and just published my first book, I live with passion, I love to try new things, and I feel about 22! I know senior citizens who jump out of planes, travel the world, and really get the most out of life. I also know very young people who are wise well beyond their years! It is all about the attitude! Create an attitude of energy, youthfulness, excitement for life and Live Inspired Now!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Young ladies under 18, especially under 15:

Dear Young Ladies,

Do you know what it means to "jump the gun"? This saying refers to a runner who starts the race before the starting gun fires. The runner is then dis-qualified and kicked out of the race for starting too early.

Would you take an opportunity to "jump the gun?"

What if someone offered you Christmas early? Would you take it? Say I could offer you Christmas today, months and months before anyone else. You would get great presents, yummy food, special attention, but you would be the only one. Then, when Christmas comes around for real, you would get nothing, and would not be able to participate. You would have to watch as others enjoyed the holiday together, without you. Would you take that if it were offered to you?

Ladies, we are often temped to engage in things too early. In fact, many of you will contemplate "jumping the gun" in your relationships. Many girls do this because it feels good to be "wanted" or "needed." However, the truth is, that when you get too involved when you are too young, you risk jumping the gun on something that would be far more special if you waited to share it.

Having intimate relationships when you are in your early teens might get you attention now, but you will lose out in the long run. The attention you get now from a 13 year old boy will NEVER compare to that of a loving, committed man when you are older. Please don't trade tomorrow's happiness for today's comfort.

You do NOT need a boyfriend to prove that you are worthy. You do NOT need someone to like you in order to like yourself. You do NOT need "likes" on your facebook selfie to prove you are pretty. You do NOT need to show your body to get attention. You are loving, caring, worthy, beautiful, smart, talented, funny, and impressive young ladies and you deserve the best... just because you are YOU! No matter what grades you get, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how many tweets get shared, no matter where you live, no matter what you look like, no matter your size... no matter what.... YOU MATTER!

So my dear young ladies, your time will come; don't jump the gun. It is absolutely OK to like boys, to talk about boys, and to have age appropriate relationships. But avoid getting into sexual or intimate relationships too early. Wait and be excited about what's to come when you get older, enjoy the milestones of your youth, make lasting friendships and Live Inspired Now.

PS: If you need help, please message me today! You can find me on facebook as Inspired Heather Paris, or you can email me at: Even if you have "jumped the gun" in some area of your life, you can recreate your innocence. You are not broken, messed up, or damaged. Contact me for help and start thinking more highly of yourself... because YOU matter!
PPS: Parents, if you are concerned about your daughter, please reach out. I help young people learn self worth, self confidence, and self love. Don't wait until it's too late, get help now if your child is in crisis.