Monday, September 30, 2013

Stop whining and start living!

How many days of your life would have been way more awesome if you woke up in the morning and decided that it was going to be an amazingly fantastic day? People get into the habit of downplaying life, or settling for mediocrity. Today, when someone asks "How are you?" Instead of the automatic "fine" response, come up with something more compelling! Try responding with an "I am freakin' awesome!" See what type of response you get from that and notice how you start to feel when you use more passionate terms.

The best years of your life are NOW if you let them be. Someone recently told me that they were just trying to make it through the next 4 years until they could retire. You don't have to "wait" to enjoy life! Even if you are working a job you don't like, or some other aspect of your life is not perfect, that doesn't mean the rest of your life has to suck too! Get out there and live! Take a risk. Do something fun. Enjoy the little things. Be grateful for what you already have! How unfortunate would it be to "get through" those 4 years, only to retire and realize that you miss what you were doing. Or to still feel underwhelmed? Nobody ever has to wait for happiness, they just have to choose it!

Stop blaming your circumstances for what YOU are not accomplishing. Go out there and get what you want! Stop whining, start living, start using more passionate language and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Your light gives way for others....

Let your inner light be so bright that not only does it guide you, but it illuminates the way for others as well! One of our greatest gifts is to share our light, love, and passion with the world. Share your passion, light the way for others, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Use BETTER words and improve YOUR life!

When babies are small they cry and whine to get what they want. As they grow older and begin to speak, we teach them to "use their words" to get what they want. Crying, whining, or hitting and kicking are obviously discouraged and they are reminded to use their words. This "use their words" milestone usually occurs between the ages of 1-5 depending upon the child's progression.

After they have learned to "use their words," most kids never receive further instruction. They are rarely encouraged, after that first milestone, to develop further by being taught to "use appropriate words." They are never told to use "kind words, feeling words" or other types of deeper, more meaningful communication.

It never ceases to amaze me how many adult couples tell me that they called one another mean and hurtful names in the middle of a fight because they never learned to effectively communicate. How many relationships would have been saved had they learned to say "I am very angry right now and I need to talk about how I am feeling" as opposed to saying "You're a jerk, I hate you, and you never listen to me!"

Learn to use your words effectively and let your actions back them up! Then, teach your children to speak effectively too. After they have learned to use their works, teach them to use BETTER words! Teach them to speak kindly to others. Teach them to use feeling words such as; "I feel angry, I feel confused, I feel sad." Then take it a step further to teach them to use words that express their desires such as; "I would like to talk to you, I think I need to take a walk, I would love to share with you."

One of the best gifts you could ever give your child is to teach them to communicate well. It will help them in school, at work, in their relationships, and it will give them confidence because they will be able to self advocate! We all need to be able to express our feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, wishes, hopes, emotions, and our dreams! "Using your words" is just not enough if you are over the age of 5. Learn to use BETTER words, improve your life and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Why Aren't American Schools More Like Dog Training School?

I took my toy poodle, Lucy, to puppy kindergarten many years ago when she was a curious young puppy. The trainer worked with each of us "Dog Mommies" and taught us to focus on our pup's strengths, not to compare our dog's abilities to other dogs, and to continuously praise their efforts! She also let us know that not all the pups were destined for distinction at the fancy dog shows and that was OK. Some dogs would make great farm helpers, some would be wonderful service animals, and some would just be really sweet companions!

The tennis balls the instructor provided during the course were larger than Lucy's tiny little head.  As you can imagine, this made learning how to "fetch" rather difficult. Instead of insisting that she learn how to retrieve the ball, we focused on her incredible "dancing" skills; Lucy had a natural inclination to walk on her hind legs. The instructor showed me how to turn this seemingly useless behavior into a "dance" that she could perform on command.  Her dancing often earned her treats or an affectionate pat on the head.

Unfortunately, I was scheduled to be out of town on business and couldn't make it to the very last class, which was graduation day. I stopped in before I left for my trip to explain the situation to our instructor. I expressed how much I loved the class and how well little Lucy was doing. I thanked them for teaching ME how to teach my dog. Then, I said "I don't actually think dog training school is for dogs at all, I think it is for the parents!" At that moment, the instructor smiled knowingly and said "You have graduated, let me get you a certificate!"

Today, as I passed a local dog training school, I recalled this great experience of training Lucy all those years ago. Those thoughts led me into thoughts of the training model that the American school system has used for decades. Why aren't our schools more like dog training schools?

We are constantly pushing kids through a one-size-fits-all educational system that doesn't recognize student strengths and try's to convince every single student and parent that college (the fancy dog show) is the only option for success. Schools don't accommodate different learning styles nor do they encourage independence. There is no curriculum that promotes entrepreneurship, nor are there any courses that teach character development skills, which have been proven to be far more useful in the "real world" than educational knowledge alone.

What if your child is a "golden retriever" but is never encouraged to go fetch things? Maybe your child is an "English Bulldog" being dressed in pink sweaters and forced to perform at the dog show. Or maybe your child is like my Lucy who was too small to fetch the tennis ball but loved to dance as a young puppy (she now prefers to herd the goats on our tiny farm). If we had insisted on teaching her to fetch, we may never have discovered her many other talents.

I think it is time we start teaching to our children's strengths and abilities. I think we should encourage them to discover areas in which they excel and praise their efforts and accomplishments. We should set them up for success by realizing that not every student is right for college. We should also support trade jobs, life skills, and entrepreneurship as valid options.

Most of all, I think we should expect parents to be involved so the teachers can teach instead of doing double duty as a disciplinarian or social worker. Strong parenting skills are just as important to a child's educational success as they are to a puppy's training success.  For example, parents should learn that when their child makes a mistake, "rubbing their nose in it" isn't the most effective course of action. Positive reinforcements are far more effective than emphasizing on your child's mistakes.

Dog training was amazing for Lucy, for myself, and for my kids, who also attended. It taught us a great deal... much more than it taught Lucy. Lucy never went to the Eukanuba Dog Show, she never did learn to fetch, and she gave up dancing for herding goats but, she is productive, healthy, and happy. Isn't that really all we want for our children?

Live Inspired Now,
Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

25 Ways To De-Stress:

A few quick ways to de-stress:

Live in the present moment...Focus on today, not yesterday
Listen to relaxing music
Drink healthy, aromatic teas; chamomile, green, mint, lemon, etc
Eat healthy food; raw, greens, veggies, healthy supplements, and plenty of water
Laugh; watch funny movies, go to a comedy show, or recall funny memories
Try something new; even if it's just a new route home, change your routine
Exercise; start with a walk and see where it leads, move your body
Get enough sleep; 6-8 hours is usually sufficient
Focus on positive thoughts; distract yourself if you start to think negatively
Surround yourself with positive people
Take a hot bath and relax
Light candles and create a relaxing setting
Help others; volunteer, mentor or encourage
Journal your thoughts, feelings, and ideas
Take deep breaths
Make peace with difficult tasks and get them over with
Acknowledge and accept your feelings as valid
Play with a pet
Have physical contact; hugs, hold hands, or snuggle, etc
Focus on doing one thing at a time; skip the multitasking
Hold a baby
Use positive, uplifting self talk
Read something uplifting daily;

MAKE time to de-stress! Rushing through life will only prevent you from enjoying it. Take time for yourself, stop trying to be everything for everyone. Stress leads to disease and unhappiness so de-stress for your sanity and your health and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Death is Inevitable; Living is Optional....

Death is inevitable, but living is optional! It's true.... everybody dies, but not everybody lives. Many people just exist, or observe life rather than engaging in it. People sit idly by "waiting for the right time" or "wishing for things to be different" instead of doing, trying, or changing their own circumstances. How many times in your life have you said.... "someday I will get to try that," or "I wish I had time to do something like that."

What are you waiting for? The only difference between you and the people living their dreams are the priorities that you have set. The most passionate people I know are out there trying things and taking risks. Most of them prioritize the things they want. If you want a passionate, loving, exceptional relationship, turn off the soap operas, take a relationship workshop, and make it happen! If you want a better job, stop complaining about the one you have, spruce up the resume, and fill out the application! If you want to take a vacation, don't talk badly about your friend who takes vacations all the time, put in for vacation time and make it happen! If you want to write a book, stop wishing for more time, get off of Facebook, and start writing.

Everything is well within our reach but all too often people want to blame others or circumstances for what they don't have. Guess what, if you want it, prioritize it! You are living the life that YOU created! Don't like it? Change it! Only YOU have the power to go out and live with passion, live with purpose and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Need a cheering section to inspire you? Contact me TODAY... not tomorrow... TODAY!

PPS: This is post number 800!!! I am off to celebrate! Thank YOU for helping me make my blog a success!! -Heather :)

Friday, September 13, 2013

The first step to self appreciation....

It is difficult to love people that don't love themselves. What does your self-talk sound like? Is it mean, judgmental, or hateful? Or, are you kind, loving, and forgiving of yourself? We have to be our own best advocates in life. It is up to us, and no one else to be responsible for who we are, what we do, what we say, or what we think. It is important to love yourself, to be kind to yourself, and to be OK with who you truly are. You don't have to try to please others or be anyone that you are not. People will like you just for being you!

So today, start being kind to yourself by writing yourself a love letter. If you suffer from a lack of self worth, just start with one single sentence. Then, after a few weeks, build up to writing several sentences, and then maybe a full paragraph, until you can write an entire page of kind words to yourself. Point out the qualities that you are proud of, the things you like about your appearance, and compliment yourself on jobs well done. The goal is to start using kind and compassionate self-talk and learn to love yourself. Write your love letters to yourself, appreciate the beautiful soul that you are, and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Are YOU the jerk?

Hmmm.... makes you think doesn't it? Think about the people you meet each day. What are the characteristics of the majority of people you come in contact with? Is it really other people that are like that? Remember that more often than not, other people reflect back what WE are expressing.

Today, start to take notice of the people you are meeting. Start to notice how they act and then take a deep look at how people might be perceiving YOU. Self awareness is a gift! Become self aware by observing how people interact with you and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The BEST way to change someone....

Passion is contagious! So often people make the mistake of trying to "change" others by convincing them they are wrong, shaming them, using guilt, blaming, or even with physical force. You can not "change" another person, but you can INSPIRE them! Just like the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." You can tell people what to believe, you can show people how to do things differently, but you can never make them take action to change if they don't want to.

I find "inspiration" is much more effective! People want to be part of things when they see it causing joy or excitement for other people. They want to learn about things when they see how far you have gone. They get excited when they see you smile, laugh, and show your enthusiasm for what you are passionate about. Change occurs naturally, you don't have to force it. Allow passion to inspire change. If you are truly living your passion, people will not only notice, but they will want to get involved too!

Today, forget about trying to change anyone, live your passion, share your total excitement and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Killing The Soccer Mom; Creating The Goddess!

"Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." -Steve Jobs 

Join me for: 

Killing The Soccer Mom; Creating The Goddess: 

6 week journey, Every Thursday at 7pm, starting September 12th through October 17th.
Presented by: Heather Paris and Jodi Brichta-Coyne (Three Goddesses)
  • Look and feel fabulous
  • Find and live your Goddess Purpose
  • Create healthy boundaries and learn to say NO
  • Feel vibrant, energetic & awesome
  • Remember what you love/loved to do
  • Learn how to nourish your body, mind & spirit
  • Remove obstacles and own the happiness that is within you
  • Re-connect and have unshakable relationships
  • Be a part the amazing, supportive, powerful, brilliant secret Facebook community of Goddesses around the world
  • Be Inspired, Empowered, & Laugh a lot for ONLY $49.00!!


Got struggles? GOOD!

If you can look at challenges and hardships as stepping stones or building blocks, then you will never feel like you are suffering through your circumstances. All challenges help us learn, create new opportunities, and remind us to appreciate the smooth times. Don't hate your challenges, appreciate them! They are gifts of knowledge and will bring great wisdom if you will allow yourself to learn. Even if you don't think you can muster a sense of appreciation for the challenge or struggle you are facing, at least adopt an attitude of faith that all things will work out.... eventually. They always do! So today, be grateful for your challenges, learn from your struggles, share your wisdom with others and Live Inspired Now!

Friday, September 6, 2013

6 Steps to Create an AWESOME life!

So many people have fallen into the habit of mediocrity and forgotten that life exists beyond the television. They have forgotten to take part rather than just observe. People sit around eating junk food and watching other people live amazing lives on television and never pursue awesomeness for themselves. People create these unhealthy, sedentary, passionless daily routines without ever even realizing they are bad habits that need to be broken.

Staying positive, living inspired, and being happy are all healthy habits that anyone can achieve! People often ask how I stay so positive and happy, especially in a world so full of tragedy. I always say the same thing.... "yes, the world has bad things, but it also has amazing things that happen every single moment, and those are the things I choose to focus on!" I have not always been this way, but I decided long ago to start creating habits that were healthier and happier than what I had been doing.
 Many years ago, I lived on nothing but diet soda and junk food, had fallen into the routine of watching other peoples lives on TV, I gained weight, was always tired, and my own marriage (with my "EX") had fallen apart. I wanted more and decided to make it happen for myself! Now my life is happy, healthy, full of adventure and passion, and Thad and I have created a fairytale relationship!

Life does not provide magic wands, it is up to each one of us to create magic on our own! Here are some tips to do just that.

1 Determine what you want your life to look like. Actually write it out too! Write down all the things you want, the way you want to look, the job you want to have, the relationships you want to keep or get rid of, the way you want to feel, the adventures you want to take, and the things you want to provide for yourself or your family. Don't leave anything out.... it is more likely to become real if you write it down. This gives your brain something tangible to hold yourself accountable to. Keep this in a prominent place so you see it daily.

2 Figure out what needs to stop. It is highly likely that you have picked up some bad habits that need to stop; make yourself very aware of them. A life of excellence is not spent on the couch for hours and hours each day watching television. Do you need to throw the TV out of a window? Maybe you need to get rid of all junk food in your house? Need to quit smoking, drinking, gossiping, or obsessing on medical conditions? Or maybe you need to stop calling the "EX" who treated you badly? Write the list of things that have to GO! Ask close family or friends what they think might need to go from your life if you think you are too entrenched to even recognize your own bad habits.

3 Make a plan. Create a real plan with actual steps; don't settle for something vague. For example, don't just say "I will lose some weight." Make a real plan instead such as: 1. Throw out all junk food 2. Purchase all the healthy food you need 3. Put together convenient healthy snacks to grab when in a hurry 4. Create something else to do instead of eating. Some examples are: call a friend, focus on work, meet new people, etc... Be sure that your plan is in a prominent place for your to see. Habits are created by doing them daily, consistency is key!

4 Set yourself up for success. This is important to making your new habits stick! There are many ways to set yourself up to be successful. Surround yourself with others who have healthy habits. Limit (if not abolish) all contact with negative, unhappy, or unhealthy people. Post reminders everywhere (I like brightly colored post it notes) that will trigger the new healthier habits. Recite mantras... "Clear and consistent focus and action will get me to my goal!" or "I am healthy, happy, and a source of good in this world!" Put healthy and positive things into your mind every single day: self help books, uplifting poetry, fun or inspiring music, talks, or anything that promotes the healthy habits you are trying to attain.

5 Don't focus or obsess about set backs. We all have slips, don't let it completely drag you down. If you have a day that you forget your mantras, or you let yourself wallow in self pity, recognize it as quickly as you can and then get back on the wagon! We all have bad days, don't turn it into a bad week, month, year, or life. Allow yourself to be human and move on!

6 Forget the mediocrity of old and focus on the amazing new life! Once you realize how freakin' awesome life is, don't sit and focus on how much you missed out on. Focus on your amazing new life, your positive new attitude, and all the good you will do as a result. Don't forget to focus on what you can give back too. Giving and helping others is one of the best ways to keep you on track with your healthy new habits and lifestyle.

Stop living a mediocre existence, watching other people do great things and wishing your life were different. Take action, create healthy habits that lead to a passion filled life that will have others looking at YOU and saying.... "Wow! Her life is amazing!" Excellence is nothing more than healthy habits, create excellence for your life and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Feel free to contact me if you need support... life and relationship coaching are a great tool to help you get where you want to be in life! I look forward to hearing from you!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

What irritates you about other people?

The people you meet tend to mirror yourself. If you are meeting lots of angry people, or often getting cut off by angry people in the car, or maybe you're consistently near someone angry and impatient in the check out line; you might want to start looking at your own attitude. You will find people similar to you and gravitate towards them, even without knowing it. Your personality is a mirror and you reflect what you feel inside onto other people and they put it right in front of your face. So, take a look at the people you most commonly deal with and ask yourself if you need to make some changes or are you comfortable with what you see? Get a deeper understanding of "self" by looking in the mirror reflected by others and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Is YOUR life flying by too?

My life seems to be rapidly changing. I know it has not been sudden, but it feels sudden. "Suddenly" I have no children in elementary school, they are now all 7th graders and above. As well, my "baby" Madison, left for basic training today. Yes, basic training, you heard me right! She is now in the Air Force; this is unbelievable since it was just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital in her car seat. She slept in that car seat for 3 months because I was paranoid about her sleeping in the crib. In the car seat, she could be belted in and sleep right next to me so I could keep her safe.

I had postpartum depression after having Madison and for a while I wanted to kill myself. I literally would rock her in the rocking chair and my tears would fall onto her sleeping body. With each rock, forward and back, I would see myself jumping out of the window with Madison in my arms, killing us both. It was a scary time and Madison was the only one there for me. She didn't know it, she was only weeks old, but it was her little face that got me through one of the toughest times in my life. I never told anyone what was going on with me back then, so I was isolated, but Madison was always there. She cried, she was fussy and demanding and it was her needs that kept me from focusing on how badly I was feeling. I sat with Madison for hours each day, talking, reading, and playing classical music. It is no wonder she said her first word "mama" at only 5 1/2 months and was walking by 9 months. I put all my energy into raising this amazing kid, and somehow, the postpartum depression eventually left me. It wasn't until many years later that I realized what had been wrong with me.

Madison was (and still is) brilliant and now she has gone off to basic training. She willingly signed up to protect and serve our country. Though completely choked up and still in shock at how time flies, I could not be more proud.

This "soldier" is still my baby. Still the fearless little girl who once screamed "I LOVE YOU MOMMY" at the top of her lungs in the center of a quieted riding arena during a horse show. Still the crazy little girl who made her cousin cry when she scratched the eyes off of his painted pumpkin. Still the innocent and excited little birthday girl who couldn't believe that "Barney the dinosaur" came to her party. Still my little girl who cried after her first broken heart. Still my sweet helper who always took care of her friends. Oh, I could go on forever with this but with tears in my eyes, I must remember that she is NOW a young woman, creating her own amazing life and I am deeply proud. I am proud that she is kind, loving, willing to take some risks, and that no matter how grown up she is, she is still my little girl.

Today, hug your babies, before you know it, they are off on their amazing lives! Focus on building good relationships with your kids now, instead of thinking about what they will do when they grow up. Enjoy life and Live Inspired Now!