Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Guest Blogger: Mattie Paris age 16

Two summers ago my mom hosted an empowerment seminar and firewalk with Tony Simons, a local firewalker instructor. Tony and my mom, Heather, had us write down things that we wanted to overcome or 'break-through' on wooden boards. We then had to place the board on top of two cinder blocks and break them in half. Seeing all of the words I had written on the board; seeing them broken in half and everyone cheering me on, really helped.

I was so happy after I broke through my board, I could not stop smiling! Overcoming things that hurt you before or scared you, feels really good! I can tell you now that those things don't even cross my mind anymore. Next, we broke arrows with our necks. Yes, actual arrows! At first I couldn't break my arrow. I said I wasn't going to try again but then my dad stepped up and said he would do it if I did it with him. The whole time he held my hand and we cheered each other on. By the time I broke my arrow, tears were running down my face, not out of pain but wonder! I felt like I could accomplish anything in the world, which meant that I was ready for the fire walk.

Tony first had us walk around the fire while chanting and clapping. I thought it was really funny, but my sister Madison was so into it! Slowly one by one we walked across the hot coals, palms facing upward. I was smiling so much! This was awesome! After everything that happened that night, I felt like a brand new person.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

It's Never Too Late For Right Now!

It is NEVER too late for RIGHT NOW! Start now, don't wait. "Putting off" suffering, actually prolongs it! Put the effort in right now and reap the benefits for the rest of you life. I have a couple of young clients that dropped out of school and are now realizing that they want their GED. There is no better time than RIGHT NOW! Do the work now, then you can be done with it. Don't wait for the right time, there is no "right time," there is only right NOW!

So today, get off your a$$, and starting doing something NOW. Get it done, then you can take deep breaths and relax knowing that you don't have to worry anymore about it. Whatever "it" is, get it done, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Uh oh..... Harry got detention!!

Harry came home the other day with a detention slip! What? Yes, Harry... who gets straight A's and B's got a detention! He had to stay after school for 2 days in a row for his crime. He..... jumped in the hall and touched the ceiling tile.

The school sent a notice home with his referral in it. There were 16 offenses to choose from ranging from defiance and disrespect to violence, and weapons. Harry got the "other" check box. His other box had a line for a brief description which read: "Climbing wall in hallway with his feet."
I really have to laugh at this. I totally support the school in giving Harry a detention for breaking the "do not jump off the walls to try and touch the ceiling" rule. I told Harry, it's their house, and you broke their rules, so you have to deal with their consequences.

However, the fact that the list of offenses were all really big violations to obvious school and even public rules and laws, it seems rather inconsequential to "jump off the wall" and get detention. This seems to be the norm in schools these days though. Kids are expected to step inside a box and never venture out, let alone JUMP out! Kinesthetic kids are too often labeled "ADD/ADHD" when what they really need is a venue in which they can have more physical activity. Adults often face the same challenges when sitting at a desk all day. We as humans were not meant to sit still and be quiet all day. We are built to move around and stay active and we learn much better when utilizing all of our learning modalities too. Engaging kids physically, as well as through visual, and auditory means is the best way to have them actually pay attention and absorb what they are learning.

I told Harry to serve his time, and to follow the rules in the future. He graciously served his 2 day detention after school and we had a good laugh about his offense of "other." I told him that if he had to get a detention, I am glad it was for "other" and not any of the real crimes! Encourage your kids to deal with the consequences of their actions, even if they don't seem fair or just. It is important that they learn to respect the rules of others, and to be honorable if they make a mistake. That is the most important lesson. Talk to your kids, communicate openly, enforce consequences, encourage them, and Live Inspired Now!

Friday, October 25, 2013

One giant tip to help kids be AWESOME!

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." ~Stacia Tauscher

I LOVE this quote so much! We often forget that our children are already awesome, full of life and creativity, and it is adults that figuratively beat them into submission. Kids start out believing in everything, willing to dream and unwilling to settle! Then, unfortunately, our own limitations and beliefs get shared and the child slowly loses his passion and starts on a path of cynicism. DON'T DO THAT! Don't place limits on a child's dreams or imagination!

Tell them that they are awesome and you have faith in them and if they want something to "go for it!" I mean really, how much MORE could WE accomplish if we just believed that we could? Let kids know that they are already smart, and equipped with what they need to go forward, learn what they need to know, and achieve whatever they dream of! 

Kids today are smarter than ever! They are resourceful and are often far more technically savvy than adults! Don't tell them they can't do something, don't even tell them they can do it someday. Why would they need to wait until they are adults to become an artist, musician, graphic designer, or anything! 

Make the following words your mantra to your kids: MAKE IT HAPPEN! You just might be surprised what they accomplish when you encourage them to take initiative and make things happen for themselves. I know.... I live with an artist, a builder, an anthropologist, and a chef! Offer your help, brainstorm ideas, get excited for them, offer input and then let them go for it. Encourage kids to be amazing today, and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

No reason needed....

"I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."  ~Edward Everett Hale

What can you do today to contribute, or to improve someone's world? YOU are powerful. You don't need a reason, a sign, the perfect time, or an excuse... just help someone today and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

News peddlers control brains of unsuspecting drama junkies!

Every sensationalized news story that you get sucked into is like another shot of drama drug straight into your system. You become addicted quickly and you start looking for the next big hit of drama until you eventually become a reality TV junkie. Spending your free time watching attention starved divas fight for their man, sitting on the edge of your seat to find out who's the baby daddy, or making bets on who will be voted off next. Watching with secret hopes that something catastrophic will happen on screen so you can say "yes, I saw what happened, I was there!"

The news headlines pull us in, sometimes kicking and screaming. Have you ever clicked on a news story KNOWING you were going to regret it? Have you ever given in to the temptation of clicking on "Most Americans Are Totally Cool With Smoking Weed At Gay Weddings!" Yes, that was an actual news article from the Atlantic Wire. The article was about two prominent cultural topics: marijuana use and gay marriage. They intertwined the topics to create a sensationalized headline that received far more clicks than if the headlines merely stated: More people support gay marriage and legalized marijuana than in previous years. At no point in the article does the author mention celebrating a gay couples nuptials with a joint and feeling "totally cool" about it with "most" of the other guests.

Remember when Michael Jackson "dangled" his baby off a balcony? When in actuality, he showed his baby off to the crowd below from a balcony. I don't agree with what he did, but at no point was the baby dangled, he had 2 firmly gripped arms around the child. Or most recently, when Obama "caught a lady who fainted behind him?" She did get slightly wobbly on her feet but she didn't faint, nor did he catch her. He simply turned to her, it looked like he took her hand, then offered her some comforting words for a moment until another women led her away. I guess nobody would click on "Michael Jackson showed his baby to fans" or "Obama said Your OK, to a women who got dizzy." 

Hows this for an accurate headline? "News peddlers control brains of unsuspecting drama junkies hungry for their next fix! Oh, in fact, I think I should use a portion of that title for this post!

Parents: kids are especially susceptible to sensationalism in the media. They hear about school shootings and learn to be afraid. They hear about bullying and think it's inevitably going to happen to them. Or, they hear about suicide and immediately it becomes an option that they might not have considered previously. Please be careful about what your children hear and watch. Sensationalized drama is addictive and can be harmful, specifically to the most impressionable among us: kids.

My point in all this is not to get so caught up in manufactured drama that you forget to enjoy actual reality. There is an entire world of sensational sights, romantic moonlit moments, and exciting successes to take in and celebrate! Promote positive living to kids and teach them to be discerning of what they see and hear. Get caught up in your dreams, go out and discover new things, share an adventure, enjoy every moment, create happiness, set a good example for young people and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A great way to stand out and start conversations....

Lately I am hearing that people are having difficulty making conversations with new people, or they don't know how to stand out in the crowd. Standing out is especially important for self employed people who have to make connections and build rapport in order to get new business.

A great way to stimulate conversation AND to stand out is to wear something that grabs attention. Some examples would be: a brightly colored scarf, a large sparkly brooch, a cartoon character tie, a hat, sequined shoes, or maybe some striking jewelry. There are limitless ideas, you just have to think about how much attention you want to grab! If you are attending a professional networking event, maybe a crazy tie is enough attention. If you are attending a party, maybe you can be more risque. It depends upon your comfort level and what you are trying to accomplish.

An attention grabbing accessory can ease you into a conversation. You might get a compliment on your scarf and you can tell a brief story about where you bought it, or maybe who gave it to you. Every single thing you have, has some sort of story attached to it and this is a great way to break into a nice talk with someone new.

So today, find your way to stand out! Think about what you have on and relate some stories to it. Be prepared to ask questions about other people too. Build new relationships, stand out in the crowd and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, October 21, 2013

What example will YOUR kids emulate?

Your children may not follow your advice, but they will follow your example. Are you teaching them to be depressed? Are you teaching them to fight with their future spouse? Are you teaching them to under achieve or to be afraid of trying new things? Perhaps your example is teaching them to hate themselves? I know, I know... it's pretty scary when we realize we have that much influence, but they are OUR children and WE are responsible for the example we provide.

What type of things do you want to teach your children? How about self esteem, confidence, kindness, compassion, perseverance, respect, independence, altruism, humor, or love? These are qualities best passed down by example. You can try to teach these qualities, but living them is the best way for your children to learn them by modeling your attitudes and behaviors.

Have you ever seen a person smoking a cigarette and telling their child to "never smoke!" Then they wonder why the child grows up to become a smoker when they specifically told them not to. Your example will always be the very best way for children to learn. So, what do you want your children to learn? Think about how you can change your behavior and set a positive example for your children and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Please reach out if you want to change your life and your children's lives. You can learn to be happy and set positive, healthy examples for your children. I look forward to hearing from YOU!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Why I almost told a teacher to F**K off!!

This is a picture of the letter I received yesterday from Madison. She is nearly done with basic training and I am so excited to watch her graduate! Madison and I have been writing letters to one another every day since she left for Texas. There is nothing more sweet than receiving a letter from your "little girl" in which she tells you that you are her best friend and that she loves you! The most important thing I ever learned as a parent is that the relationship I have with my child outweighs any accomplishments or milestones that I may wish for them to achieve. (Keep in mind, "best friend" status shouldn't occur until after they have left home.)

When Madison was in high school, she hated it. It was like pulling teeth just to get her to go to school, never mind doing well while she was there. At one point, one of her teachers called me in to discuss her grades. He insinuated that I was not actively participating in her education because I was not "forcing" her to do her Global History project. I explained that I have provided Madison with every possible resource to be successful in school but it was up to her to actually utilize them and that I was not going to put a gun to her head and try to force her to learn. The teacher smirked at me and retorted, "Some parents are actually invested in their children's education!" At that moment, I think I could actually feel my blood boil inside my body and I wanted to lash out but I kept my cool and asked him if he had any children of his own. He said he didn't, then changed his answer to "Well, one on the way." I then offered him some advice. I merely said, "Some day, I hope you understand that the child is more than the grade. I am fully invested in my child and I love her enough to let her be responsible for her own consequences. That is the real education!"

The next day, this teacher apologized to me. Madison continued to struggle through school until she finally graduated. She was always smart enough to do the work, but like her mother, she didn't find as much value in the classroom as she did in real world experience. I have no doubt that she will continue to be successful! Oh and what is success in our house? Happiness.

In this letter that Madison sent, the first line says "Mom, I miss you so much, you are my best friend." I would say that my "investment" in my kid paid off! She is bright, loving, kind, and compassionate and I am very proud of her. Remember: while your children are growing up, the most important thing is to create a bond that will remain once they leave the home. Worry less about what other people think, don't listen to ignorant comments, hug your babies, and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Turn worry into productivity!

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying.  It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep."  ~Dale Carnegie

This is a great tip from Dale Carnegie! Turn your worry into something productive, if your going to be up anyway. :) Have an INSPIRED day everyone!! 

Live Inspired Now! 
Heather Paris

Monday, October 14, 2013

You are NOT powerless.......

One of the biggest mistakes people make is to do nothing because they think they are powerless. The only time we are powerless is when we are dead. If you are still breathing, you have the power to make changes for yourself, your family, your community or even the world! You just have to be willing to follow your heart, take some chances, and disregard nay-sayers! Making even one change can make a huge impact because of the residual effects. Like dominoes, the smallest action of flicking one block down, impacts every other block connected to it.

Sometimes you don't even realize the impact you have on others. I often get people who say to me that one of my posts really helped them to think differently about something and it changed their life and I had no idea until they told me. Never underestimate the power of living in alignment with your beliefs and values because you are setting and example for others which is another form of power.

We don't always get feedback but make no mistake, you are not powerless! If nothing else, you have the power to change your own mind and thinking, to change how you react to things or people, and to change how you act in any situation!

Embrace your power, resist the urge to do nothing, and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

9 Tips To Successful Workplace Communication:

Lately it seems that many people have been asking me about communication. Any of my clients and readers know that I believe communication is the corner stone to success in almost everything we do. Usually I am talking about communication between couples, or parents. Today, I thought I would give you a few tips about effective workplace communication!

9 Tips To Successful Workplace Communication:

1 Build rapport with whomever you are communicating. Do this by matching their voice tones and body language. For example, If you go in to talk to your boss, and he is sitting completely upright, rigid, with little expression, and speaking to you with a soft voice, do not go in there and slouch back casually in the chair, with your legs thrown way out, leaned back, and start the conversation with a loud, booming voice. Matching body language makes the other person feel more secure around you.

2 Act professionally. React calmly; interact appropriately. Don't act in a way that will have co-workers thinking you were hired because you are the boss's brother. Don't react negatively or blow up every time something happens. Don't gossip, cause drama, hit on co-workers, or use any behavior that your mother or grandmother would not approve of. It's a workplace, be professional.

3 Learn to use better language and express what you mean without offending. The English language with all it's complexities can be quite confusing. The words you use may mean something entirely different to another person. For example, remember in the 1980's when all the kids were saying "That's bad!" which actually meant that's good? We offend people all the time with words they may not like or tones they think are snarky. You can't please everyone, but you can keep it neutral enough so as not to offend most.

4 Don't be a mind reader or expect others to be one either. You probably DON'T know exactly how another person feels so don't say you do. Additionally, don't expect other people to know what you want or need. Assuming that another person will finish up your project the way you like is setting you both up for failure. Communicate with words, not telepathy.

5 If you have an issue or challenge, communicate with the source directly. You can go home later and vent to your spouse, but don't vent to co-workers; this is really just gossiping. Go speak to whomever you are having the challenge with and work things out. Focus on the issues, not the personalities involved. You don't have to like everyone, but that doesn't mean you can't work effectively together.

6 Express gratitude. People like to help people who are grateful. Be sure to thank anyone who offers you help.

7 Avoid negative talk. You DON'T want to be the office's "Debbie Downer" or "Negative Nelly." People prefer to be around other people who are positive. People don't like to walk away from a conversation feeling drained or depressed.

8 Always be sincere and considerate. Nobody likes a sycophant, or someone who is only interested in personal gain. Zig Ziglar once said "If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want." This is true on many levels. People like people who help others, not people who blow smoke. People also like people who are sincere and true to who they are. You don't have to be syrupy sweet all the time, but honor your own values, and think of other people.

9 Laugh. Be sure to use humor that won't offend. That means save the "Yo Mama" jokes for home but feel free to use appropriate humor at work. Appropriate humor for the workplace would be humor that would be OK for your children to hear. When in doubt, don't say it.

The workplace is a cacophony of personalities with an unlimited amount of perceptions. You may never orchestrate perfectly, but you can harmonize pretty well if you apply these successful communication tips. Start today with some great communication skills, enjoy your workplace, and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Hypnotize YOURSELF!

Everyone has been hypnotized! Don't believe me? Have you ever sang along to a song in the car that you could never sing unless it were playing? Have you ever driven home and not remembered the actual drive because you were lost in thought? How about the times when you reacted to an old problem that wasn't a problem anymore just because you remembered it? We are ALL in a state of trance, more often than not! It is natural and normal and even a good thing, if you use it correctly! The best part is that we can TRAIN ourselves to create positive trances that will improve our lives and help us reach our goals.

Milton Erickson said "You can pretend anything and master it!" This is especially true with happiness! You learned to live the way you're currently living. You might have learned to be negative, or pessimistic, in the past.  In the same way, you can learn to be happy and positive simply by creating habits that empower you!

Create positive new outlooks by practicing meditation and relaxation; question any beliefs that harm you, and model others positive choices and behavior. Our perceptions create our behavior. That means, what we think about a situation determines how we act or react to it.... and we could be wrong! For example: you might react and get angry to a car that cuts you off, only to discover that the driver of the car was rushing their mother to the hospital because she wasn't breathing. You just never know whats going on... you can only use your perception to make an assumption. Is it time to change some of your common assumptions?

When you become aware, and create more positive patterns, you free yourself from the prison of anger, resentment, jealousy, pain, irritability, and overreacting to things beyond your control. It is time to create some healthy trance states so your unconscious reactions are beneficial and helpful to your life. Set yourself up for success, enjoy fulfillment and happiness, and Live Inspired Now!

***Please contact me if you are ready to create your own happiness. With new patterns of thought, you create new patterns of behavior that will enable your success! By working together with you, I will give you the tools you need to create the inspired life you have always dreamed of!***

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Holiday Inn is INSPIRED too!

Even my hotel gets it!! Stay INSPIRED!! I am in Boston at a 4 day conference with my colleagues. We are learning wonderful new strategies to further help our clients overcome challenges! I am so inspired by the event. People coming together from all over the world with a common purpose to help heal others and a desire to learn. I can't wait to share all the inspiration I have gained from this exciting week. Not just from the conference, but from friends, watching transformations, meeting new people, connecting with virtual friends, visiting local landmarks, the road trip to and from, and missing my family. Yes, inspiration has even come to me from missing my family. 
I will be back to blogging on Tuesday. So have a wonderful weekend everyone and in the words of a pretty smart hotel room key... Stay INSPIRED! ;)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

15 Ways to promote Creativity!

cre·a·tiv·i·ty: [kree-ey-tiv-i-tee]

There are many benefits to being creative! The act of creating can be a stress reliever, and an amazing source of self expression. It is important to make time to be creative, to shut out the world and get in touch with your deeper self.

Do you have those moments or places where you always seem to have great ideas? For me, it is in the shower! I seem to do my best thinking in there and that is because  I am relaxed and allowing myself to be open to ideas and concepts. I even keep my phone near the shower so as soon as I can get out, I make a note of the ideas that I thought of. There are many ways to open the flood gates to creativity!

Check out this list and see what works for you to get your creative juices flowing!

Meditation (sit in silence)
Body movements; dance, skip, sway, exercise, yoga, move with music
Read; especially inspirational stories of accomplishment or perseverance
Talk long walks in nature
Listen to music
Try an art: painting, drawing, sculpting, crafting
Check out what others are,, craft shows, HGTV, craft magazines
Try something new; even if you don’t know how to do it
Sit someplace weird to get new perspective; lay on the floor, sit upside down on couch
Re-arrange your office/work/living space
Change your routine; drive a different way home from work
Create “crappy” works of art; just to get you started
Drop delusions of perfection
Hang out with creative people

Be sure to make time to be creative! It can be very therapeutic and is actually good for your health! Schedule some time for creativity, have fun, and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

3 Tips to Stay INSPIRED and kick fears ASS!

Inspiration is a force, influence, or idea that makes you want to do or create something. NEVER let your fears keep you from wanting to do, create, or experience something! Here are a few tips to stay inspired and keep your fears in check:

1. Keep people who inspire you close. Avoid negative people who don't want to believe in your dreams. Join groups of like-minded people and network to meet others like you. Surround yourself with others who are working toward similar goals, or at least people who are wildly motivated! Develop a support system of people who will cheer you on and encourage your progress. (Hire a coach to keep you on track and encouraged!)

2. Fill your mind with inspirational material. Read THIS blog DAILY! Read inspired books, articles, and personal stories that give you goosebumps. Watch inspirational movies, talks, or vlogs that will keep your spirits up. Fill yourself with stories about people winning, achieving, overcoming, and succeeding. Avoid all negative media, hype, and fear mongering.... in other words the "news."

3. Keep your dreams and ideas at the forefront of your thinking. Never become complacent about your dreams and desires. The moment you say "ehhh, it's no big deal, I don't really care if it happens" you have LOST your edge! Do not drop the ball on what you want to accomplish. Post pictures that represent your dream everywhere so you constantly see them. Leave notes with positive quotes and reminders everywhere. Talk, blog, text, facebook, tweet, and post about your goal/dream and let everyone know that you won't be derailed. 

If fear does get a hold of you, refer to these 3 tips. Call a supportive friend or coach, read your favorite inspirational book or blog posts, and look around at the many inspirational anchors you have hung or posted. The more inspiration you let in, the less room fear will have in your life. Stay positive, stay inspired, stay focused on your dreams and Live Inspired Now!