Friday, August 30, 2013

Do YOU do this behind closed doors too?

Have you ever been so frustrated that you go behind closed doors just to catch your breath? Or maybe you go there to cry, yell, or swear?

There is nothing wrong with taking a moment to "discharge" your negative emotions, in fact, it's healthy to do so! It is healthy, but not always practical; especially if you are at work, or with young people. So what do you do?

Go into a room, close the door, then let it all out! Cry, scream, swear, make obscene gestures, make faces or even punch a pillow, but get that frustration out. You will be surprised at how good it feels and then you can go on with your day. This is a great stress reliever, especially for Moms! We all love our kids but let's face it, sometimes you really want to research boarding schools!

Or if you are at work and your boss is very demanding, you can always go to the restroom to get a moment. While there, text your spouse, or give your boss the middle finger behind the closed stall door. Whatever it takes, but get those frustrations out in a non confrontational way. This will alleviate your own stress, help you maintain your composure when you simply can't blow up, and it might even make you laugh some!

The last time I flipped the bird to someone behind closed doors, I ended up laughing hysterically and felt much better all day! So if you find yourself completely irritated by bored kids, obnoxious bosses, or any other Frustrating Franks, go behind closed doors, take a deep breath, flip them off, make faces, and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Get your life back....

Join me today at 11:00am for a FREE sneak peak to the upcoming "Killing The Soccer Mom..... Creating The Goddess" workshop beginning soon! Life Coach and friend Jodi Brichta-Coyne and I have put together this amazing 6 week journey to help other women get their groove back!

Most of you know my stories of inspiration but join us today to hear HOW I got here and how YOU can start living and loving your purpose filled life again too! 

Please join us today, August 29th at 11:00am eastern at:

See you there! :)

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Real role models....

Role models should not be fictional television characters. Choose role models from the billions of real people all over the globe, from past and present, who have done amazing things to contribute to the well being of society or the planet as a whole. Even better, BE the role model you want your kids to emulate, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, August 26, 2013

An Inspired Fairy Tale...

Once upon a time there was an inspired princess. She was the most beautiful princess of all time,  with long red curly locks of hair that often overwhelmed her freckled, fair skin. The princess had an incredibly compassionate heart and always prioritized the needs of her people above her own; they loved her very much.
The princess herself had but one wish. She wished for true love. As a child she had heard a story of another princess in a far away land that kissed a frog and released a prince charming so she vowed to kiss frogs until her prince emerged.
The princess occupied her days with helping everyone and making other people very happy. In her spare time, she "kissed" every frog she came across, looking for the man of her dreams. Magnificent princes rode gallantly into her kingdom to court the inspired princess but she quickly sent them away; after all, they were not frogs and she knew that she was to rescue an ugly old frog from his tortured existence. So on she went, helping everyone, kissing frogs, and avoiding princes; and she did this for years.
One day, she woke and didn't feel as inspired. She wondered why she was spending her days sharing her wealth and helping others, and still had not been rewarded with the one thing she truly wanted. How much longer would she have to give unselfishly only to return to her castle each night, lonely. It seemed as if she had lost her inspiration. She stopped leaving her castle and helping the people, and vowed to never kiss another frog.
One day, a knock came upon the large castle door. The sad, uninspired princess opened the door to see a very handsome prince standing before her with a large basket overflowing with baked goods, fresh fruit, vegetables, and hand made crafts. The charming prince told her that the townspeople missed her and had put together their finest offerings and had asked him to kindly deliver them to her with their love. The princess was moved to tears and invited the prince in to the castle. They shared baked goods from the basket and swapped stories for hours. Later, as the prince was preparing for his departure, she kissed his cheek and thanked him for the best day she had in years.
The princess returned to town after that and continued her work: caring for the sick, feeding the poor, and generously sharing what she had with her people. Eventually, she and the prince fell in love and on the day they were to be married the princess thanked the towns people for sending the prince to her. She also thanked the prince for helping her to see things clearly. She had been so busy trying to save frogs, she forgot to save herself.
The Inspired Princess and Prince Charming were married. They presided happily over an abundant and joyous kingdom, and lived inspired and happily ever after!

Friday, August 23, 2013

I want to be a "hugger!"

Growing up, we weren't "huggers." Hugs were pretty much reserved for tragedy, so when you got a hug, it was because something bad happened. As an adult, I wanted to be a "hugger." I thought it was so nice to see how loving some families were. They hugged over everything like it was no big deal! I noticed families that even hugged EVERY day, for NO reason at all! I wanted to be like that too.

When I had children I vowed to hug them and I turned myself into a "hugger" as well. Now I love hugs! My kids are all big now so hugs are kind of "embarrassing" so I try to reserve them for at home instead of on the sidewalk at school, directly in front of all their friends. ;)

Hugs have amazing benefits. They create a bond, they satisfy a natural need for human touch, they boost mood enhancing brain chemicals, relaxes tension, and hugs create a sense of security.

Have you hugged your loved ones today? I am off to do that right now! So go hug your spouse, kids, friends, or pets, and Live Inspired Now!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Hey Mrs Rude... did you forget your manners or just never learn them?

I really think I was born in the wrong era. I am very old fashioned and I often wonder why manners aren't taught in school. Is it just me or does anyone else remember not being allowed to yell or scream while we were in public? A few weeks ago I was at Wal-Mart and a women was repeatedly yelling and calling her young son an idiot. There were people shopping in their pajamas, and still others who would nearly knock you over rather than say "excuse me" as they pass by.

OK, you all know that Thad and I can get pretty silly while we are out shopping, however, we always use manners and are respectful of others. In fact, generally we can be found helping elderly people find items, or assisting disabled shoppers when they drop or can't reach something.
Meanwhile, I stand in line while other shoppers huff and puff to dramatically express their irritation at the person who dares to take "too long" to check out.

What happened to good old fashioned manners? The other day, after my Toastmasters speech in Ithaca, I received a "Thank You" note in the mail. The real mail, like, in the mail box! The card expressed gratitude that I took the time to come and speak at their club. It was SO lovely! I haven't received an old fashioned "thank you" in a long time! That was classy!

It is unfortunate that good manners sets you apart from the rest; being polite should be the norm but it isn't. So my dear readers, if you want to stand out and be noticed, be polite. If you want your children to stand out from the crowd and be leaders, teach them good manners and to be respectful. Teach them that NOT everyone wants to hear about what their boyfriend did last night, or that they have to get rechecked at the doctor, while they blab away on their cell phones.  OHHHH, and while I am at it, please tell the young ladies in your life not to take "selfies" in the bathroom! Why do young people think its attractive to have a photo with a toilet in the background? OK, again... that might just be my pet peeve, but I think it's valid. I could go on for days, but I won't.
Today, let's create change by being the best example of good manners and politeness and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Kick the "can't" to the curb!

Oh man, I am so sore today! Thad and I took a free introductory kickboxing class last night. It was AWESOME! I really loved it! Not only was it great exercise, but it felt really great to learn some self defense techniques too. Not that I have ever needed them, but it does feel very empowering to know that you can defend yourself should the need ever arise. I also felt very relaxed afterwards. I can't tell you how much stress just melted right off while pummeling the bag. Oh... also, we got to pummel these sand bag people. It was hysterical! The sand bag man is on the floor, you straddle it and beat the crap out of it! Thad and I felt a little awkward at first but we soon got very into it! lol. I told Thad to take out his angst about the goats breaking into the chicken coop all day long, and then he was really beating that sand man up! It was so much fun. We had a great time together, burned many calories, and got to do something healthy and fun!
Clear YOUR mind of "can't." Empower yourself with some martial arts... there are many more besides kickboxing. You won't believe how powerful it feels to learn to protect yourself and be responsible for your own fitness! Check out a martial arts studio in your area, most of them offer a free introductory class. Try it out, empower yourself, have fun, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, August 19, 2013

3 Ways To Create Positive Change In Negative People

How many of you have ever know a Debbie Downer or a Sad Face Sally? You know who I mean, the Negative Nelly that always sees the bad in everything. No matter how good things are, they find a way to cast a dark shadow. Or maybe if you have NEVER met anyone like that... maybe it’s YOU? (Nahhhh, it's definitely not you!)

The next time you cross paths with one of these people, try using a "state change" to influence their behavior. A state change is when you create a change in a persons state of mind, mood, or thoughts. We can also change our own state too. Maybe you feel a little down in the dumps and don’t know why? Maybe you are going through some real life challenges and need something that will perk you up?

There are 3 ways to change a persons state.... focus, language, and physiology.

Let’s start with physiology. Physiology is the way in which you use your body. Have you ever just sat down for a moment to relax and fell asleep, then woke up and said “I didn’t even know I was tired!” That is because your mind knows what to do given the way you use your body! So to change your state, use your body better. Sit or stand up straight, get off the couch, move and exercise, and be in a positive, alert position. If you want to change another person's state, take them for a walk, get them up, and get them moving!

The next is focus. What we focus on is what we feel so if you are constantly thinking about bad things, then you feel bad. Change your own state or someone else's with distraction. Never tell someone “just don’t think about it!” That doesn't work and I can prove it. Right now... DO NOT think about a bright yellow, juicy, tart lemon. No, I said DON'T think about it. Naturally, you have to think about what you are not supposed to think about. A better method is distraction. LOOK, A SQUIRREL!! Just distract yourself with something else, like a squirrel, or getting involved in another project, or by focusing on what you are actually doing in the moment.

The last state change tool is language. Again, your brain listens to the words you use and creates your world around them. If you are constantly saying “I’m fat,” then your brain will believe it and when you look in the mirror, you will see a fat person, even if you are thin. Your brain is like a computer, it has to be correct. Just like a calculator will always make 2+2=4, your brain will always align your experiences up with your beliefs. So change your state by using POSITIVE language.
Say things like I CAN do things, I AM beautiful, I WILL succeed. Change another persons state the same way... with encouraging language... I BELIEVE in YOU, YOU ROCK, etc....

The best way to influence another person will always be by setting a great example. Use these simple techniques to change your state, influence those around you, and Live Inspired Now!

Friday, August 16, 2013

3 Ways To Teach Kids Generosity!

Our family mission is built around generosity and helping others. We take steps to instill these values in our children too. Generosity is not something people are born with. In fact, we are born rather selfish. Babies come in to the world equipt to get their needs met, not to give back. This is a trait we must help them develop over the years. Here are 3 ways to teach kids to become generous adults:

1 Explain the concept: Some kids may have no idea that there are people who go without or people who need help. Make kids aware of reality without scaring them. Using age appropriate language, let them know that many people around the world live in poverty. Explain your reasons for helping: it makes you feel good to give back, it is nice to give toys to kids who don't have any, or it makes you sad to see people who don't have food and you want to help. Ask them to try and explain how they might feel if they had to go without. Ask them how they might want to help and why. 

2 Get kids involved: When doing charity or donating to a cause, allow the kids to be a part of it. If donating money, ask them to donate some and you will match their donation. No matter the amount, even if they donate a few cents, praise them for doing so! If you volunteer, sign them up to work too! You can give them a few options to choose from, but let them know the entire family will be volunteering. Be sure to praise whatever they have done! (Some kids may be shy at first, even if they don't fully embrace their role, praise them for being part!)

3 Let kids be creative givers: Allow the kids to come up with ideas on how they can help! They may want to make cards for kids in the hospital, or draw pictures for soldiers, collect pennies that they find to donate, or maybe they want to bring a little extra something in their lunchbox to give to a friend who doesn't have much. There are so many ways that kids are creative, allow them to use their imagination and they will be far more invested in being generous.

Modeling generosity will always be the very best way to raise generous kids. It's not the amount that you give; rather, the spirit of generosity that they will inherit. Be generous with your time and resources, allow the kids to play a role, and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Value yourself so others will too....

If you are looking to other people to make you feel worthy, you will always be disappointed. You are worthy of love and happiness and you find that by being kind to yourself. Love yourself, use kinds words about yourself, don't put yourself in abusive relationships, don't take the words of others personally, focus on things you are grateful for, and never settle for less than you deserve because you are lonely! Even alone, YOU are worthy, special, and valuable and YOU need to believe that before anyone else will. Others will eventually get tired of "lifting you up," all the time, you have to value yourself. It is OK to lean on others in moments of need, but you don't want to be constantly "needy."
Today, make a list of all your greatest qualities, post it prominently, read it daily and Live Inspired Now!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

4 Reasons Why It's Good To Fail!

Failing one time doesn't make you an expert at it. You have to keep trying if you want to get really good at failing! You may ask yourself, "why would you want to be good at failing?" Failure allows us to grow, to learn, and to find or create new opportunities. Here are 4 reasons why it is good to fail:

1 EXPERIENCE: Failing builds your experience and with experience, wisdom follows. The more you fail, the more you learn what to do (and what not to do). Wisdom and experience will get you farther in life than education alone. Experience helps us learn and grow as people. Find the lesson in every failure and enjoy the knowledge that comes with it.

One fails forward toward success.  ~Charles F. Kettering

2 PERSEVERANCE: If you keep trying after a failure, then you are learning a valuable lesson in perseverance. It is extremely rare to try something for the first time and be instantly good at it. For example, the first time you try to play piano, you will not sound like Beethoven. However, if you persevere and stick with it, you will eventually become a talented musician and will enjoy the music you are playing. This is a valuable lesson to teach, especially to kids today who expect (and often get) everything instantly.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

3 FAMOUS FAILURES: You will be in good company. Every millionaire and billionaire has failed;  rather than quit, they let the failure motivate them to keep going until they achieved what they wanted. Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, JK Rowling, Steven Spielberg, Marilyn Monroe, Oprah Winfrey, Stephen King, Henry Ford, Vincent Van Gogh, and so many more are great examples of people who failed first, kept going, and eventually changed the world.

Failure is an event, never a person.  ~William D. Brown

4 COURAGE: Like the people in #3, if you keep going after failure, you clearly have courage! In a society often paralyzed by fear, you will stand out and be noticed if you are courageous. Standing out often brings opportunities.

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.  ~Henry Ford

So, enjoy your failures and know they are stepping stones to greatness. Learn the lessons they teach, join the ranks of the great failures before you, and Live Inspired Now!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Can you give me a hand?

You are more powerful than you think! Your hands are proof of this.  Your hands pick up your baby when he is learning to walk. Your hands hold your partner's hand when you walk down the aisle after saying, "I do." Your hands wash the blood from many cut knees. Your hands wipe the tears away from a bullied child's cheek. Your hands cover your eyes when you are too afraid to look. Your hands caress a lover and made them feel important. Your hands steer the car that delivers your family safely to the mall. Your hands gently gather broken objects and put them back together. Your hands swing the hammer that builds the new table. Your hands clean the dishes that you use on pizza Fridays. Your hands rub your partners feet when they are sore after working all day. Your hands create the arts and crafts that everyone admires. Your hands communicate when words are not an option. Your hands pet your animals so they know they are loved. Your hands slap high fives in encouragement of others. Your hands give a pat on the back. Your hands pull your loved one close.
You are more powerful than you think.... today, lend a hand and Live Inspired Now!

Thank you to Monique B for the gorgeous artwork and the inspiration! 

Friday, August 9, 2013

WHO is your passion?

Last week Thad took Harry to California for "Vidcon," a 2 day video conference dedicated to video websites and online stars. When they first arrived, they were handed badges to fill out and wear throughout the conference. The badge had a place for your name, video channel, and your passion.

Thad sent me the picture above, he listed ME as his "passion." During the conference, Thad went by the Spreecast booth and one of the women, Molly, noticed his passion and remarked that she knew of an "Inspired Heather Paris!" Thad proudly told her that was the same Heather and they talked all about me and my Three Goddesses business that I share with my friend Jodi. It was unbelievably cool to me that Thad got noticed because of my name 3500 miles away at a conference but the coolest part was that my husband listed ME as his passion.

I was extremely emotional that entire day, and grateful for such a wonderful husband. I reflected on how dedicated we are to putting one another first and how we work at keeping our relationship in the forefront of our lives at all times. This is why I have dedicated my life to helping others, because I want everyone to know happiness the way I do; to be able to really experience life and enjoy every moment. To put suffering aside and open up to love and healing. Prioritize your relationships with people you care about because nothing, I mean nothing, is more important than the relationships you have.

During times of crisis, at scary moments, and at the end of a person's life, NOBODY ever wishes for more work or more money. In those moments of deep reflection, everyone wishes for the people they love. Who are you passionate about? Who will you wish to be close to in times of crisis? Does this person know how you feel? Let them know, share your passion with the world and Live Inspired Now!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Another lesson in mind control and detachment....

"When the mind is the master, you live in a hell. When you are the master of your mind, you live in the land of the Buddhas." -Bodhidharma

I have been given plenty of opportunities over the past few weeks to practice detachment from things and controlling my mind. On Monday, I had a bit of an accident. As I was putting dishes away at home a large cabinet ripped loose from the wall and fell on top of me and shattered all of my fine china.

My mother is a real estate agent and she sold a mansion once when I was younger. It was an incredible place and I was happy to sit in the kitchen and keep her company while she did an open house. While she was showing potential buyers around, I looked in awe at the beautiful dishes in the "butler pantry." They were hand painted with flowers in my favorite colors of pink and green. I remember thinking how lovely they were and imagining them being used at fancy dinner parties. Several years later, I was working as a case manager and an elderly client of mine walked into my office with a box full of dishes she was throwing away. She showed them to me and asked if I wanted any. Sitting there on the pile were two of these beautiful pink and green flowered dishes and she let me have them. That was how I got my first pieces; for the next 20 years I collected the "Franciscan Ware, dessert rose pattern" dishes a little at a time. My mom would find pieces here and there in antique shops and send them to me and I would mix in some new pieces as I could afford them.

My collection had grown even bigger than the one I originally saw in that mansion and now it all laid smashed over my head and on my floor. I laid across the floor in the broken glass, looking at the small pool of blood next to my hand and at that moment knew, I have nothing. For as much as I thought I had been detached, I hadn't been, but now I was. I have nothing, I own nothing, and I control nothing and although I was in physical pain, it was a very freeing feeling. Bleeding and crying, my girls helped me up and got me an ice pack for my foot that had been smashed by the cabinet when it fell. I cleaned up my hand and called Thad who was in California on business. Then I called my Mom to let her know what happened. Besides my Franciscan Ware, the cabinet was home to all of my crystal stemware that my mother gave me. She had collected these hand blown glasses one at a time when we lived in Germany in the 70's and they were extremely expensive. My mom was bummed but she was more concerned that I was OK and she said "well now I have an excuse to hit the antique stores to build up your collection again!"

The girls helped me clean up the giant mess and we all talked about how accidents happen and that is part of life. I for one am very grateful that the kids had not been standing nearby when this happened! I suffered a broken toe, a very sore foot and a cut on my hand but otherwise, fine! It could have been much worse. As much as it sucked to lose all of my collection, I lost much more than that... I lost my attachments and that was a blessing. I controlled my mind by letting go of the pain that can only come from attachment to things and I helped my kids see the lesson in the incident. They were very grateful that I was OK and they all expressed the "life is short so live it to the fullest" sentiments. We had some very nice reflections afterwards and it felt good to help my kids see the lesson rather than focus on the drama.

So today, practice being in control of your mind, try not to make attachments to things, or outcomes and Live Inspired Now!

Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker 

PS: I am pretty sure I will be scheduling a workshop soon about controlling the mind and ways to detach so please continue to check back often! :)

Monday, August 5, 2013

The lesson in break-ups...

Don't hold on too your lover so tightly that they feel smothered or stalked. If you trust them, then allow them to be the person you fell in love with. If you don't trust them, then you should evaluate whether or not you should remain in the relationship.

Many relationships fail when one partner is held "too loosely" which means they feel like they are not cared for. If you don't make time to show your special person how much you love and care for them, they will eventually get their needs met in other ways. Don't forget to show them you love them each and ever day.

Take care of your relationship, the person you love should be your priority. For my younger readers, please understand that you are meant to go through break ups because it teaches you how to have a successful relationship in the future. My teenage clients tend to put more love and attention into their relationships than adults do because they are often less afraid of being vulnerable which makes it much more painful when the relationship ends. Please remind the young people in your life that it is normal and OK for them to experience some heart break but help them see the lesson in each relationship. If they don't learn lessons then they are likely to keep having the same problem over and over with each new relationship. We all know adults like that... the ones who say "Every relationship I have ever had has been like this..." or "Every guy I meet ends up being exactly the same." This is because they are hopping to the next partner without learning the lesson of the break up.

Experience is invaluable, learn from it, cherish your relationships and Live Inspired Now!

Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Sleep when your dead....

A good nights sleep is important but once in a while, you can forgo the sleep for a night of fun and adventure! When is the last time you went out for a midnight stroll with your lover? Or took a slow drive down a dark country road just for the fun of it?
When I was a teenager, I often spent time with my Grandma Bea in the summer. She would wake me up in the middle of the night and take me to McDonald's for hot apple pies. One of my favorite memories is of her and me eating apple pies on the curb in the parking lot, then having shopping cart races. There were left over shopping carts that didn't get put away so we would each take one, run as fast as we could, and let go at the same time and see whose cart would go farther. With no cars around at that early morning hour, it was easy for them to soar through the large, dark parking lot. Sometimes, she would even let me drive her Cadillac through the empty lot! We had so much fun and would laugh for days! Grandma loved adventures and she always said "I will sleep when I'm dead!"
So tonight.... get out there and have some fun, do something outside the box, and Live Inspired Now!

Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker