Friday, May 10, 2013

Family first or step off!

This past week a young person I know contacted me and asked if I would coach him. I know this young person and know that he has a supportive family so I told him that I was definitely open to it but his parents would have to contact me to set things up. I have worked with a few teens without talking with their parents but ONLY because I knew the parents to be very abusive. I would never turn a child away who needs help despite their family situation. However, if the child has a parent/parents in their lives, then the parent should be consulted and made aware of your interactions. Parents should never be undermined and family should always be highly regarded. If you have a young person in your life that looks up to you, don't "get in good" with them by insulting or undermining their parents. A family is important to children and again, unless they are being abused, the family should be put first. If a young person confides something in you that could be risky or dangerous to them, the parents should be told immediately. Parents need to be given the opportunity to support and help their kids. Adults should be mature enough to speak with the parents and explain the situation, instead of keeping secrets with the child. It won't do a child any good for an "adult" that they trust to not make the hard decision to consult the parents. In fact, it will only promote further bad behavior because the "adult secret keeper" is actually validating the bad behavior by keeping the secret.
All kids will make bad decisions at some point, and most kids will assume their parents are going to "kill them," but that is just not the case. Good parents will give consequences and deal with the problems and will continue to love their kids.... even when they are angry.
So today, if you have a young person in your life that is "telling" you things, encourage them to talk to their parents. If it something risky, let the parents know what is going on. Never undermine a child's family by talking badly about the kids parents. Put parents and family first, encourage kids, and empower parents by supporting the entire family and Live Inspired Now!

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