Friday, January 11, 2013

Which parent are you?

I read the book Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso about 18 years ago and it shaped who I became as a parent. The book basically states that there are 3 types of parents: brickwall, jellyfish and backbone parents. Here are those profiles:

BRICK-WALL: rigid, unyielding, strict rules, highly conditional, obedience expected, order, punctuality, cleanliness, punishment, humiliation, threats, ignored feelings, competition, fear, needs not acknowledged, they do things for the kids rather than letting them learn through trial.

JELLYFISH: loose or no rules, no follow through, unknown or not applied consequences, chaos, chaotic emotions, put downs, humiliation, no structure, threats, bribes, giving up, oblivious to needs, kids easily influenced by peers, they allow the kids to have lower standards for themselves.

BACKBONE: unconditional love and caring, acknowledging kids needs, letting them know they are important, smiles, hugs, HUMOR, motivation (you can do it!), simple clear rules, natural and or reasonable consequences, encouragement, encouraging self awareness and personal growth, allow mastery.

The jellyfish parent sometimes seems like a brickwall because when things seem very out of control they resort to rigidity but when that doesn't work they just give up. The brickwall parent doesn't allow children to think, they teach them to respond rather than think and learn to do things; this type of parent stifles creativity. Obviously we all want to strive to be the backbone parent which allows kids the freedom to be creative and expressive yet within boundaries that will keep them safe.

So today, discover what type of parent you are and see if you want to make some changes, check out Kids Are Worth It and Live Inspired Now!

PS: I would love to hear from you if you or your child needs coaching for a challenge that you are facing. Kids LOVE having a coach... just read my testimonials!

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