Tuesday, December 18, 2012
We the people...
Our teachers have become forced into babysitting for 6 hours a day. They have to be social workers to the kids who show up without proper clothes, hungry and or beaten down by their often appalling life circumstances.
While in every classroom now sits at least one very special young person who has been "mainstreamed." I have seen high school students who can't dress themselves sitting in algebra classes just drooling on their books. How is this treating them with dignity? I think it would be far more dignified if they were learning some life skills that could make them feel successful. Teach them to dress themselves, tie shoes, make a sandwich, use manners, and self advocate.
I once took my son Harry to a professional wrestling event and a lovely young man of about 16 sat next to me while his parents sat in the seats directly in front of him. This young man was mentally retarded and seemed to be quite excited about the event until the wrestlers spilled out into the crowd and were "beating" one another about 10 feet from us. The young man became very agitated and scared and his crying escalated to wailing. His parents were gracious enough to put their beer down momentarily to tell him to "stop that" and "get over it." So I sat there trying to comfort the young man and calm him down... all the while sitting in a wet seat that his parents spilled beer on before the show even started. Not all entertainment is suitable for all ages and this young man may have been 16ish but mentally he was innocent and sensitive like a very young child and this clearly impacted him in a very negative way.
Where are our standards? Why does the government have so much control; especially if they are not effective at it? We have laws that allow 14 year old girls to go and get birth control and abortions without any type of parental notifications or permission yet they cannot get a tattoo or a flu shot. Most 14 year old's will assume they will get in trouble and wont want to tell their parents. Some parents however are supportive and should have the opportunity to comfort their daughters, especially if they are going through something that can be life altering and extremely hard emotionally. We have young men who are being emasculated by a society that thinks strong men make women weak. This is the same society that teaches women that to be feminine will leave you vulnerable and unsafe.
Parents have had their rights stripped away but then are expected to be held accountable.
The laws are designed to protect people but they are just deterrents, not actual shields. It is still up to us as parents to step up, raise our standards and teach our children what is acceptable.
When parents do step up and ask for help, they should not be treated like failures. From personal experience and from close friends, I know how this feels. Schools are refusing to look at alternative placements for behaviorally challenged students. Kids who struggle with drug or alcohol addictions or have violent tendencies are left in the general population of students, often because a school will lose $12,000. per student. ($12,000 is the national average, some states are as high as $18,000+.)
Then, when parents try to hold their kids accountable for their unacceptable behavior, the parents are punished. Also, Child Protective Services can go to the school and interview your children at any time without notifying you. They can also come to your home and investigate you and when they find nothing wrong, they still won't tell you who made false allegations against you. They won't allow you to hold your child accountable, They say that if he is under 18 and refuses to come home, you must call the police and have him picked up and brought back, And if he is violent or hurts someone you must call the police and have him arrested. Then when you beg for help and ask for him to be placed in rehab or a school with counseling services you are deemed a bad parent for wanting to "get rid of them." It makes you think twice about ever asking for help again.
For as long as we continue to be humans, there will always be tragedy. There will always be people who break laws and hurt others. There will always be something negative to focus on and always people who want to try and control others with laws and regulations. There is no law that will govern the behavior or actions of all people.
The best we can do is to educate our young people. Teach men to be loving AND strong and teach them that strength is caring for other people, not hurting them. Teach our women that being vulnerable is a strength and to fully appreciate their feminine qualities. Teach children that life is not fair but it is still good. When we teach them that everything must be fair, they grow up with a sense of things being wrong and unjust and feel the need to constantly regulate their surroundings. Life is not fair. It never will be but we can still love every moment of it.
We should teach our kids to be kind, polite and respectful and never hesitate to hold them accountable to that standard. We should teach our kids that we are not all equal. We ALL deserve equal human rights but our diversity is beautiful and should be appreciated. We should teach our children that N and F words are beyond appalling and should not be "dropped" so casually. We should abhor drugs and instead teach the kids how to get high on life, adventure and adrenaline.
We need to cancel all television subscriptions. Reality TV is NOT reality, is is the lowest common denominator of so called entertainment. It preys on people who want to check out of their real life and feel better about themselves by seeing people who act worse than they do. Then, in between the idiocy, you get a feeling of well being by watching a commercial that shows a happy family sharing joy around a wet mop and you automatically want to buy it because it makes you feel better than the show you are watching. It gives you a respite from the drama.
Oh my gosh people! We need to raise our standards, we need to get our civility and intelligence back. We must focus on all the good in the world, the joy, the love, the generosity and kindness that will always be here along with the bad. We need to ignore that which doesn't lift us up in love and light and give our complete attention to things that will enhance us and help us grow as people. We must appreciate and encourage people for doing good things, we must recognize the positive and reward kind acts. We must solely focus on things we would like to see repeated. We must Live and Love Inspired.... Now! -Heather Paris