Sometimes you just have to let go of the BS, put the drama behind you, close the door to complaints or complaining, and chill the hell out! Life is not difficult unless you make it that way. Let the misery, judgement, and unhappiness of others just slide right off of you, you don't have to internalize it. If someone cuts you off, or takes too long at the green light, WHO CARES? Let it go because the moment you react to the actions of another, they control YOU! The very best thing you can do for yourself, your health, and your mental state is to stay in control of your own emotions and relax. Sure, there will be times when you just get angry and that is OK, but take an honest look at how often you are getting angry, frustrated, jealous, or any other emotion that doesn't serve the greater good. Then practice NOT responding to things that trigger these emotions. It takes time but eventually, you can learn to control yourself and you will be far more relaxed and find much more joy in your life. So today, chill the hell out, don't assume everyone is out to get you, take a deep breath, don't let others control you and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker
heather@liveinspirednow.com
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Are you spreading yourself too thin?
Have you ever made homemade pizza dough? If so, you know that when you are rolling it out, if you spread it too thin it will tear. The more you try and spread it to fit on your large pizza sheet, the more it tears. Then, if you try and rip some of the dough from the fatter pieces and make dough patches over the tears so you don't have holes in the middle of your crust, you will realize the patch doesn't stick well.
Besides learning that I can't make pizza crust very well, I hope you can see that life is also like the pizza dough. You can try to spread yourself thin by doing everything but all you end up doing is tearing yourself apart. You might try to apply dough patches by doing things that provide temporary comfort such as shopping, eating, drinking, gossiping, whining, or self sabotaging but you are just covering up the problem.
You may wish you could say yes to everything and everyone, but don't be tempted to spread yourself so thin that you start to hurt yourself. When you spread yourself thin, you can become resentful or angry because you feel overwhelmed or obligated to do everything. Practice saying "no," not only to other people but to yourself as well. It is OK to say no to things and it is OK to tell yourself that right now, you can't take on one more role, project, event, job, child, or whatever it is.
So today, assess whether or not you are spreading yourself too thin. Signs of this would be: excessive worrying, constantly saying "I'm too busy," feelings of frustration, hectic schedules, never saying no to anything, trouble sleeping, eating on the run all the time, or feeling under appreciated.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, take action! Here are some simple and effective fixes to get your started: Practice saying "no," take a vacation, learn to meditate, set aside a certain time each day just for you, schedule less, prepare meals in advance and stop to eat them, use more empowering words, listen to relaxing music, stop and take a break, hire a coach to help!
Stop spreading yourself too thin, you are not poorly made pizza dough, enjoy life and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker
heather@liveinspirednow.com
Besides learning that I can't make pizza crust very well, I hope you can see that life is also like the pizza dough. You can try to spread yourself thin by doing everything but all you end up doing is tearing yourself apart. You might try to apply dough patches by doing things that provide temporary comfort such as shopping, eating, drinking, gossiping, whining, or self sabotaging but you are just covering up the problem.
You may wish you could say yes to everything and everyone, but don't be tempted to spread yourself so thin that you start to hurt yourself. When you spread yourself thin, you can become resentful or angry because you feel overwhelmed or obligated to do everything. Practice saying "no," not only to other people but to yourself as well. It is OK to say no to things and it is OK to tell yourself that right now, you can't take on one more role, project, event, job, child, or whatever it is.
So today, assess whether or not you are spreading yourself too thin. Signs of this would be: excessive worrying, constantly saying "I'm too busy," feelings of frustration, hectic schedules, never saying no to anything, trouble sleeping, eating on the run all the time, or feeling under appreciated.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, take action! Here are some simple and effective fixes to get your started: Practice saying "no," take a vacation, learn to meditate, set aside a certain time each day just for you, schedule less, prepare meals in advance and stop to eat them, use more empowering words, listen to relaxing music, stop and take a break, hire a coach to help!
Stop spreading yourself too thin, you are not poorly made pizza dough, enjoy life and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris
Inspired Life Coach | Author | Speaker
heather@liveinspirednow.com
Monday, July 29, 2013
Care for your elderly....
Last week I took Carrie to Rhode Island for her 12th birthday. She had 3 wishes: go to the beach, go to the "big mall," and spend time with family. We had a blast even though we weren't able to get to the beach because it rained and was chilly the entire visit.
The last day of our trip we visited my Aunt Rita who just went to the nursing/rehabilitation home. She is 90 years old, she fell at home and broke some ribs, and her doctor ordered her to the nursing home to recover. My Aunt Rita had very long hair that was always kept in a neat bun in the back of her head for the past 40 years. Upon arriving at the nursing home they told her she gets to visit the beauty parlor and they whisked her away. They washed her long beautiful grey hair that she spent 40 years growing and before she knew what was happening, they cut it off right up to her neck. She was horrified and demanded to know why. They explained that it was policy because long hair was "unsanitary." They didn't even discuss it with her first; they cut first, explained later. My aunt was very hurt and although she is 90, her faculties are still in tact. She is as coherent and intelligent as she always was; she is just older. Aunt Rita is taking all these new rules and changes in stride but she did tell me that she was "working her Irish up so she could give them a hard time!"
I love my Aunt Rita. She is one of the classiest women I have ever known. She is down to earth, very thoughtful, and always positive. It breaks my heart to see such a beautiful soul treated like she isn't able to make decisions or have a role in her own care. Her body is old but her mind is completely intact and she doesn't appreciate being treated as though she can't think. I watched several of the nursing staff walk around and speak condescendingly to the other patients as if they were unruly teenagers. Although some of the patients needed higher levels of care, most seemed to be mature men and women who would appreciate being treated as such.
The nursing home was a very nice place; clean and luxurious and could be a lovely place to recover or spend your remaining years if you can't live alone but some of the policies and attitudes could be improved. People need to treat the elderly like they are people; with dignity, compassion, and kindness. Unless they are mentally unable to care for themselves, they should be involved in the decisions being made for them. They should be told what the medications they are given are, they should be asked before they get their hair cut off, and they should be listened to. So today, if you have an elderly person in your life, spend some time with them. Listen to what they have to say, appreciate the years they have spent on earth and maybe even learn something from them. Treat the elderly in your life with kindness and compassion, and Live Inspired Now!
The last day of our trip we visited my Aunt Rita who just went to the nursing/rehabilitation home. She is 90 years old, she fell at home and broke some ribs, and her doctor ordered her to the nursing home to recover. My Aunt Rita had very long hair that was always kept in a neat bun in the back of her head for the past 40 years. Upon arriving at the nursing home they told her she gets to visit the beauty parlor and they whisked her away. They washed her long beautiful grey hair that she spent 40 years growing and before she knew what was happening, they cut it off right up to her neck. She was horrified and demanded to know why. They explained that it was policy because long hair was "unsanitary." They didn't even discuss it with her first; they cut first, explained later. My aunt was very hurt and although she is 90, her faculties are still in tact. She is as coherent and intelligent as she always was; she is just older. Aunt Rita is taking all these new rules and changes in stride but she did tell me that she was "working her Irish up so she could give them a hard time!"
I love my Aunt Rita. She is one of the classiest women I have ever known. She is down to earth, very thoughtful, and always positive. It breaks my heart to see such a beautiful soul treated like she isn't able to make decisions or have a role in her own care. Her body is old but her mind is completely intact and she doesn't appreciate being treated as though she can't think. I watched several of the nursing staff walk around and speak condescendingly to the other patients as if they were unruly teenagers. Although some of the patients needed higher levels of care, most seemed to be mature men and women who would appreciate being treated as such.
The nursing home was a very nice place; clean and luxurious and could be a lovely place to recover or spend your remaining years if you can't live alone but some of the policies and attitudes could be improved. People need to treat the elderly like they are people; with dignity, compassion, and kindness. Unless they are mentally unable to care for themselves, they should be involved in the decisions being made for them. They should be told what the medications they are given are, they should be asked before they get their hair cut off, and they should be listened to. So today, if you have an elderly person in your life, spend some time with them. Listen to what they have to say, appreciate the years they have spent on earth and maybe even learn something from them. Treat the elderly in your life with kindness and compassion, and Live Inspired Now!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
6 Success Tips For Speaking In Public!
Speaking in public can be pretty intimidating but just remember, at some point, we have all done it. You may not be at a podium in front of thousands of people, but maybe you have to speak at your office meeting, or in front of you child's class. Whomever the audience may be, you will want to be successful! Here is a quick list to get you over your jitters and get in front of the crowd!
1 Be prepared! The more you know your material, the better you will feel. Have you ever stumbled when someone asked you a question because you didn't have an answer? That won't happen if you know your subject and are well versed in your material! Always talk about what you know, then you won't get nervous about that "one question you hope they don't ask!" Also, practice your speech and role play questions and answers with someone. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will be!
2 Imagine your positive outcome. Spend some quality time in quiet contemplation and visualize yourself being applauded after a job well done. Imagine how great it feels to have people really engaging with your words and listening so intently. Imagine them laughing, crying, gasping, or whatever would be an appropriate reaction to your speech. Smile and take a bow just as if you actually delivered your speech.
3 Instead of telling yourself how nervous you feel, remind yourself that you are excited! There is not much difference between the two emotions; however, your brain will respond far more positively to excited vs. nervous. Your brain believes the words your mouth says, so be sure you are using words of empowerment!
4 Get to your venue early! Arrive early and make yourself familiar with the room and the audience. If you are running late, it is sure to increase your anxiety about the event. You can't be too early, because you can always practice, network with people, or check microphones and other equipment to make sure everything is in good working order.
5 Focus on your audience and the message you are giving them. They are there for you, they want you to be successful. Turn your anxiety or emotions off by focusing on giving the audience an amazing performance!
6 Hire a coach! Coaches are wonderful resources to help you overcome fears and to achieve ultimate success. Contact me today if you would like some support with public speaking or any other life challenge. Also, consider joining a wonderful group like Toastmasters. Toastmasters teaches leadership and competent communication. It is a self-paced and encouraging group and you will learn from the best!
So, whether you are delivering a moving speech at a medical convention, or leading a craft demonstration at your child's scout troop, try these tips to help you get your point across without all the nervousness and Live Inspired Now!
1 Be prepared! The more you know your material, the better you will feel. Have you ever stumbled when someone asked you a question because you didn't have an answer? That won't happen if you know your subject and are well versed in your material! Always talk about what you know, then you won't get nervous about that "one question you hope they don't ask!" Also, practice your speech and role play questions and answers with someone. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will be!
2 Imagine your positive outcome. Spend some quality time in quiet contemplation and visualize yourself being applauded after a job well done. Imagine how great it feels to have people really engaging with your words and listening so intently. Imagine them laughing, crying, gasping, or whatever would be an appropriate reaction to your speech. Smile and take a bow just as if you actually delivered your speech.
3 Instead of telling yourself how nervous you feel, remind yourself that you are excited! There is not much difference between the two emotions; however, your brain will respond far more positively to excited vs. nervous. Your brain believes the words your mouth says, so be sure you are using words of empowerment!
4 Get to your venue early! Arrive early and make yourself familiar with the room and the audience. If you are running late, it is sure to increase your anxiety about the event. You can't be too early, because you can always practice, network with people, or check microphones and other equipment to make sure everything is in good working order.
5 Focus on your audience and the message you are giving them. They are there for you, they want you to be successful. Turn your anxiety or emotions off by focusing on giving the audience an amazing performance!
6 Hire a coach! Coaches are wonderful resources to help you overcome fears and to achieve ultimate success. Contact me today if you would like some support with public speaking or any other life challenge. Also, consider joining a wonderful group like Toastmasters. Toastmasters teaches leadership and competent communication. It is a self-paced and encouraging group and you will learn from the best!
So, whether you are delivering a moving speech at a medical convention, or leading a craft demonstration at your child's scout troop, try these tips to help you get your point across without all the nervousness and Live Inspired Now!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
One direction....
You can only move in one direction in life... forward. Even if your mind is stuck in the past, you are still moving forward. Don't miss the all the wonderful things in life that you are doing now and working towards because you are always focusing on what happened in the past. You only have one direction... forward, so live it up, stop looking back and Live Inspired Now!
Monday, July 22, 2013
The cost of inaction in YOUR life......
What is the cost of inaction in your life? Does it mean you will lose a relationship because you never showed the other person how much they mean to you. Does it mean that you stay overweight and develop diabetes because you never exercised and lost weight? Does it mean you stayed "depressed" because you never hired a coach or did any personal development?
How much is your story worth? Are you saying things like "I can't afford that workshop" or "I will never have enough money to do what I really want." The price of inaction is far greater than the amount of money it costs to learn something new and improve your life! The cost of inaction is unhappiness. Money comes and goes, it flows in and out of your life but when you refuse to spend it on things that will enhance your life, you are creating a plug that stops the free flowing nature of money. I am not saying to go and spend like crazy, I am saying INVEST in things that will enhance your life and create more flow. Such as: personal growth and development, classes or workshops, or hiring professional consultants to help you reach your life goals.
Stop sitting on your ass waiting for the right time to do things...
NOW is the time to hire the coach!
NOW is the time to lose the weight!
NOW is the time to create the life you love!
NOW is the time to do some personal development and change your thinking!
NOW is the time to get your life back!
NOW is the time to: (INSERT YOUR GOALS HERE!!!)
Whatever you have NOT been doing... NOW is the time to do it. Stop trying to sell your story of inaction and start creating your amazing life. No matter what you want to do, there is a way to make it happen. Find mentors or people who have achieved what you want, invest in YOUR life, love, and happiness, hire a professional to guide you and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Contact me today if YOU are ready to stop the excuses and start your fabulous life!
How much is your story worth? Are you saying things like "I can't afford that workshop" or "I will never have enough money to do what I really want." The price of inaction is far greater than the amount of money it costs to learn something new and improve your life! The cost of inaction is unhappiness. Money comes and goes, it flows in and out of your life but when you refuse to spend it on things that will enhance your life, you are creating a plug that stops the free flowing nature of money. I am not saying to go and spend like crazy, I am saying INVEST in things that will enhance your life and create more flow. Such as: personal growth and development, classes or workshops, or hiring professional consultants to help you reach your life goals.
Stop sitting on your ass waiting for the right time to do things...
NOW is the time to hire the coach!
NOW is the time to lose the weight!
NOW is the time to create the life you love!
NOW is the time to do some personal development and change your thinking!
NOW is the time to get your life back!
NOW is the time to: (INSERT YOUR GOALS HERE!!!)
Whatever you have NOT been doing... NOW is the time to do it. Stop trying to sell your story of inaction and start creating your amazing life. No matter what you want to do, there is a way to make it happen. Find mentors or people who have achieved what you want, invest in YOUR life, love, and happiness, hire a professional to guide you and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Contact me today if YOU are ready to stop the excuses and start your fabulous life!
Friday, July 19, 2013
What to do when falling in love....
Love love love! It is all I can think about today! Besides being in a perpetual state of "in love" myself, I love watching others fall in love. Falling in love is the most exciting, and potentially scary, place to be. There are so many uncertainties which can make you feel vulnerable. Vulnerability may either scare you or excite you depending upon your personality. If you are the type who likes things to always be in place, likes routine, and always wants to feel safe and secure, then vulnerability can be a very scary thing. If you are the type that likes adventure, change, and trying new things then vulnerability might feel very exciting to you.
If you are embarking on a new relationship, even if you are scared, allow yourself to open up to possibilities. Don't go into a new relationship holding on to the baggage of past break ups. If you do, you are sure to revisit those same "hurts" over and over again. Open up and make yourself vulnerable to the person you love, build your new relationship together, not around walls that already exist. Be completely honest with one another and build your new life on trust, compassion, and understanding. If you hold back, put up walls, and keep your new love at a safe distance, you will not build a lasting relationship. It may work for a short time, but long term it won't be able to withstand any challenges. So go forth, fall in love, but do it with a complete willingness to open yourself up to the right person and build your relationship on a solid foundation! Enjoy one another, embrace vulnerability, even if it scares you, and Live Inspired Now!
If you are embarking on a new relationship, even if you are scared, allow yourself to open up to possibilities. Don't go into a new relationship holding on to the baggage of past break ups. If you do, you are sure to revisit those same "hurts" over and over again. Open up and make yourself vulnerable to the person you love, build your new relationship together, not around walls that already exist. Be completely honest with one another and build your new life on trust, compassion, and understanding. If you hold back, put up walls, and keep your new love at a safe distance, you will not build a lasting relationship. It may work for a short time, but long term it won't be able to withstand any challenges. So go forth, fall in love, but do it with a complete willingness to open yourself up to the right person and build your relationship on a solid foundation! Enjoy one another, embrace vulnerability, even if it scares you, and Live Inspired Now!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
It's a bad day... NOT A BAD LIFE...
The past few days have been challenging. Rather than getting upset, I am using this time as a great reminder that nothing is permanent.... not even our troubles!
So, a couple of days ago my parents came to visit. I was out all morning at meetings and then stopped at the grocer to get all the ingredients for homemade lasagna and bread from scratch. I rushed home to find the water softener installer guy at the house. I was able to get enough water to start dinner before he shut it off but I was not able to make my famous maple cake. So far, no big deal. Mom and Dad show up and we all ate the delicious meal while talking all about my new baby pygmy goats. After dinner mom went out to see the new babies and I joined her after clearing the table. As I approached my mom informed me that one of my goats was dead. I didn't want to believe it but it was true... Furio was dead and Frederico was curled up with him crying. Then, as I tended to Frederico and tried to comfort him, I must have squatted down into a mosquito swarm because I was suddenly attacked by tons of mosquitoes who bit me right through my yoga pants! I had about 30 bites all over my legs and my butt! Later that evening, my parents decided NOT to stay out my house because apparently, my house is now overrun with fleas. (We had exterminated the house before we moved in because the previous owner had about 45 feral cats living in the house. Apparently, we need to do it again!) Mom and Dad went and stayed at a hotel for the evening and I went to my room to relax and put the long day behind me. As I brushed my teeth to get ready for bed, a hornet flew into my hair and got stuck! That was the straw that broke the camels back.... I freaked out. I started swatting my hair and inaudibly screaming for Thad to rescue me. He ran to help but the hornet was thrown from my hair and disappeared somewhere in my closet. Covered in calamine lotion, itchy and sad, I felt defeated, I curled up on Thad's chest and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up with gratitude and appreciation that yesterday was behind me. I spent that day in reflection for all that I am grateful for. If my life were not so completely wonderful, then the bad days would not stand out so much. No matter how bad a moment, a day, or an event seems, it will all be OK. Nothing is permanent and just as troubles come, they also go. The more attached to outcomes we are, the more we will suffer.
I think the Universe wanted to make sure I believed this philosophy because last night, I was awakened by a very loud noise coming from my closet. I jumped up and saw the picture above. After spending a great deal of time unpacking, organizing, hanging, and folding my clothes, my closet collapsed and undid all of my hard work in an instant. My daughter Carrie even helped me by color coding my hanging clothes from lightest to darkest and now they all lay in a heap on the floor. At about 2:30am this morning when this happened, I rolled my eyes, said "whatever" and went back to bed. Today, I got a laugh out of it.
Nothing is permanent, and our attachment to order or desire for control will always leave us feeling unstable or unhappy. Let go; we control nothing, our troubles are not permanent and they will leave us. Go with the flow of life, anger and resentment will never change another persons behavior, it won't hang your clothes back up, it won't bring your dead goat back, and it will never make you happy. It's a bad day, not a bad life, accept what life throws at you, make the most of it, and Live Inspired Now!
So, a couple of days ago my parents came to visit. I was out all morning at meetings and then stopped at the grocer to get all the ingredients for homemade lasagna and bread from scratch. I rushed home to find the water softener installer guy at the house. I was able to get enough water to start dinner before he shut it off but I was not able to make my famous maple cake. So far, no big deal. Mom and Dad show up and we all ate the delicious meal while talking all about my new baby pygmy goats. After dinner mom went out to see the new babies and I joined her after clearing the table. As I approached my mom informed me that one of my goats was dead. I didn't want to believe it but it was true... Furio was dead and Frederico was curled up with him crying. Then, as I tended to Frederico and tried to comfort him, I must have squatted down into a mosquito swarm because I was suddenly attacked by tons of mosquitoes who bit me right through my yoga pants! I had about 30 bites all over my legs and my butt! Later that evening, my parents decided NOT to stay out my house because apparently, my house is now overrun with fleas. (We had exterminated the house before we moved in because the previous owner had about 45 feral cats living in the house. Apparently, we need to do it again!) Mom and Dad went and stayed at a hotel for the evening and I went to my room to relax and put the long day behind me. As I brushed my teeth to get ready for bed, a hornet flew into my hair and got stuck! That was the straw that broke the camels back.... I freaked out. I started swatting my hair and inaudibly screaming for Thad to rescue me. He ran to help but the hornet was thrown from my hair and disappeared somewhere in my closet. Covered in calamine lotion, itchy and sad, I felt defeated, I curled up on Thad's chest and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up with gratitude and appreciation that yesterday was behind me. I spent that day in reflection for all that I am grateful for. If my life were not so completely wonderful, then the bad days would not stand out so much. No matter how bad a moment, a day, or an event seems, it will all be OK. Nothing is permanent and just as troubles come, they also go. The more attached to outcomes we are, the more we will suffer.
I think the Universe wanted to make sure I believed this philosophy because last night, I was awakened by a very loud noise coming from my closet. I jumped up and saw the picture above. After spending a great deal of time unpacking, organizing, hanging, and folding my clothes, my closet collapsed and undid all of my hard work in an instant. My daughter Carrie even helped me by color coding my hanging clothes from lightest to darkest and now they all lay in a heap on the floor. At about 2:30am this morning when this happened, I rolled my eyes, said "whatever" and went back to bed. Today, I got a laugh out of it.
Nothing is permanent, and our attachment to order or desire for control will always leave us feeling unstable or unhappy. Let go; we control nothing, our troubles are not permanent and they will leave us. Go with the flow of life, anger and resentment will never change another persons behavior, it won't hang your clothes back up, it won't bring your dead goat back, and it will never make you happy. It's a bad day, not a bad life, accept what life throws at you, make the most of it, and Live Inspired Now!
Monday, July 15, 2013
You have NO idea who you truly are.......
The labels we give ourselves are illusions. We are nothing more than one another. We are all energy, derived from the same place, completely connected to everything and everyone else. While we are here, occupying "bodies" we have the ability to choose how we use that energy. For good, bad, love, hate, kindness, compassion, resentment, or anger. No matter how you choose to use your energy in your time here, you are no different than anyone else and only responsible for yourself.
The labels we give ourselves are a reflection of our egos, not our true state of consciousness. It is no different than when our mothers gave us different colored cups. Green for me and blue for my sister. The color of the cup let us know which was ours so there would be no fighting about cups. However, when one of us would want to harass the other, it was now clear how to do it.... drink from the wrong cup. The same is true in life, we give ourselves labels so that we stand out, fit in, feel proud, identify with something better, embrace our heritage, or even to feel powerful. Again, this is just an illusion that feeds the ego. You are so much more than your surface identity or label. These labels more often divide us and keep a wall up that prevents us from embracing and appreciating one another as well as learning to work together toward a common goal.... such as peace for example.
We are all energy, completely connected to one another and to the Universe. Too many people constrict their own potential or abilities because of labels. You are not a black man, a strong woman, a disabled person, a white guy, an army vet, an alcoholic, a ballerina, a stock broker, a homeless bum, a nerd, a jock, or any other label you claim. You may want to identify your physical body with identifiable characteristics but don't disregard your true essence. You, like everyone, are energy with form, perfectly designed to accomplish whatever you set your mind to. You have more ability and purpose than you realize... release the labels and embrace possibilities!
The ego loves labels but your spirit loves consciousness; awaken your spirit, try new things, figure out what you are truly capable of, and Live Inspired Now!
The labels we give ourselves are a reflection of our egos, not our true state of consciousness. It is no different than when our mothers gave us different colored cups. Green for me and blue for my sister. The color of the cup let us know which was ours so there would be no fighting about cups. However, when one of us would want to harass the other, it was now clear how to do it.... drink from the wrong cup. The same is true in life, we give ourselves labels so that we stand out, fit in, feel proud, identify with something better, embrace our heritage, or even to feel powerful. Again, this is just an illusion that feeds the ego. You are so much more than your surface identity or label. These labels more often divide us and keep a wall up that prevents us from embracing and appreciating one another as well as learning to work together toward a common goal.... such as peace for example.
We are all energy, completely connected to one another and to the Universe. Too many people constrict their own potential or abilities because of labels. You are not a black man, a strong woman, a disabled person, a white guy, an army vet, an alcoholic, a ballerina, a stock broker, a homeless bum, a nerd, a jock, or any other label you claim. You may want to identify your physical body with identifiable characteristics but don't disregard your true essence. You, like everyone, are energy with form, perfectly designed to accomplish whatever you set your mind to. You have more ability and purpose than you realize... release the labels and embrace possibilities!
The ego loves labels but your spirit loves consciousness; awaken your spirit, try new things, figure out what you are truly capable of, and Live Inspired Now!
Friday, July 12, 2013
Control kills relationships
The moment you try to control someone, you lose the ability to appreciate them. I often hear from people in relationships that their significant other is trying to control them. Maybe by checking up on them continuously, telling them what to say and do, or even by spying or sneaking through their things. If you feel the need to do these things, then you probably should not be in a relationship! If your "loved one" is the type of person to cheat, lie, or manipulate, then make a better choice in partners. If they are honest and trustworthy but you continue to try and control them, they will eventually leave.
The excuse that you have been hurt, cheated on, or used in the past in not a valid reason to mistreat the person you are currently with. Do not make your loved one pay the price for the sins of your EX. Stop looking for the ways your partner is trying to hurt you and start looking at ways to make them feel loved! You are likely to have a much more honest and pure relationship if you focus on honesty, giving, and loving because the other person will always feel loved and appreciated and never want to leave or hurt you. However, if you continue on a path of jealousy, mistrust, dishonesty and control, you are guaranteeing a shorter lived relationship entirely centered in disharmony. You don't want a chaotic, complicated relationship with fleeting moments of happiness. You want a loving, passion filled relationship that can withstand fleeting moments of challenge. If you prefer the chaos and unhappiness, then perhaps, you are not ready for a mature relationship and should do some self discovery.
No matter what you do or where you are, you have to live with yourself and your thoughts; make them healthy or be a prisoner in your own mind. Relationships are not about anger, resentment or control. Let go and free yourself to love, laugh, and truly enjoy the person you are with...... as well as yourself, and Live Inspired Now!
Please feel free to contact me if you need help getting past negative emotions so you can move forward into a healthy relationship.
The excuse that you have been hurt, cheated on, or used in the past in not a valid reason to mistreat the person you are currently with. Do not make your loved one pay the price for the sins of your EX. Stop looking for the ways your partner is trying to hurt you and start looking at ways to make them feel loved! You are likely to have a much more honest and pure relationship if you focus on honesty, giving, and loving because the other person will always feel loved and appreciated and never want to leave or hurt you. However, if you continue on a path of jealousy, mistrust, dishonesty and control, you are guaranteeing a shorter lived relationship entirely centered in disharmony. You don't want a chaotic, complicated relationship with fleeting moments of happiness. You want a loving, passion filled relationship that can withstand fleeting moments of challenge. If you prefer the chaos and unhappiness, then perhaps, you are not ready for a mature relationship and should do some self discovery.
No matter what you do or where you are, you have to live with yourself and your thoughts; make them healthy or be a prisoner in your own mind. Relationships are not about anger, resentment or control. Let go and free yourself to love, laugh, and truly enjoy the person you are with...... as well as yourself, and Live Inspired Now!
Please feel free to contact me if you need help getting past negative emotions so you can move forward into a healthy relationship.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
WONDER why you feel like crap?
Health and nutrition has become very confusing with all these new terms and rules: GMO, organics, natural, stevia sweetener, and everyone seems to have a different opinion on how to eat right. Join us today and take the confusion out of it all! Have your questions ready, we will try to answer them all!
Today, July 11th at 11am (eastern) FREE on spreecast:
http://www.spreecast.com/events/wonder-why-you-feel-like-crap
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
5 Steps To Achieve More Patience!
Yesterday I was going to post about patience but then ran out of time and decided to purposely "test" my patience so I would have more to contribute to the post. It worked! While spending a long day cleaning, mowing lawns, shuttling kids to and fro and, doing it all on a very hot and humid day, I was able to maintain my patience. I gave this post a great deal of thought throughout the day, and here is what I came up with!
1. Determine what/when/where/why you are impatient! Maybe you are impatient with your kids in the morning but no other time of day. Perhaps you are only impatient at work or while driving. Spend a few days really taking note of the people, times of day, or situations that cause you the most stress. You will be able to move on to step 2 if you know what makes you impatient.
2. Set yourself up for success whenever possible! Look for proactive solutions that will remove your impatience triggers. For example: If you know it is the morning rush that makes you most impatient, get up an hour earlier, or lay out the kids clothes the night before, or get a coffee pot with an auto start, etc. Your kids will think you hit your head when you are calm, cool and collected and not barking at them to hurry hurry hurry!
3. Set yourself up for acceptance when you fail! OK, so you won't always be proactive and set the clothes out the night before. Or even if you do set the clothes out, once in awhile something will happen to mess up your best intentions. When this happens, here is your plan: Take deep breaths, assess the situation, make peace with it, and then move forward. Give yourself a break, we are all humans and even the most enlightened of us will lose our patience sometimes. Step 4 will help you make peace when things are out of your control.
4. Take control of the situation by being in control of YOU! When things do get out of hand and your patience has run out, instead of globalizing about how bad everything has become, start to question yourself. Ask yourself a few questions that will help de-escalate the situation such as: Do I have any control over this situation? Will yelling or freaking out really make anyone move faster? Will swearing at the driver in front of me really make him turn? Recognize that you have no control over other people, only yourself. Anxiety, impatience, and stress are "brothers" and they lead to strained relationships, poor health, and disease; start to take steps to avoid them as much as possible! When you start to ask the right questions, you can reason with yourself about the situation.
5. Surround yourself with patient people as often as possible. The saying, "You are a product of your surroundings" is completely true. If you are surrounded by other impatient people, you will tend to behave impatiently, as well. Try moving to a different check out line or drive in the "slow lane" to avoid those impatient people around you. Often times, it may be impractical to completely avoid impatient people (spouses, family members, coworkers, etc...). Instead, try telling them how much better you feel when you practice patience. Share these five steps with them so they can also experience it for themselves.
A few years ago, I decided to examine my own impatience. I determined that I get most impatient in the morning when I am trying to get the day started. I had to get the kids fed and ready for school, make their lunches, write and post my blog, as well as, eat, shower, and get ready for my day. My impatience was in the form of rushing around and getting very frustrated at the kids for going too slow and I was often late for my job at the school. My proactive solutions were to start showering before bed, Thad took over making school lunches and I woke the kids up a little earlier. (The walks out to the bus stop were so much more relaxed and it became a really nice bonding time for me and my younger kids!) At that time, I was driving the teenagers, since I worked at their school. I informed them that my car was leaving the yard at a certain time and if they were not in it, I would leave without them. I was calm yet firm and put the responsibility on them rather than getting impatient every morning and trying to control their every move. My daughter, Madison, missed her ride to school twice and both times she called and begged me to drive home and get her but I refused and patiently explained that I was responsible for getting to work on time and could not accommodate her. (You have no idea how much stress this took off of me!) I could have gone in the bathroom and yelled at her as she showered to "hurry up, hurry up," but chances are she wouldn't have been able to go faster while someone was shouting at her. Nor would this have made either one of us feel very good about it.
Just be clear with your expectations, say what you mean and mean what you say, then follow through. When you can't control the situation, move forward knowing you have done what you said you were going to do and be grateful that you didn't lose patience. Other people will say, do, and think what they want, that is out of your control. A strong person controls him or herself and doesn't let the stress of a situation drive their emotions. Things will happen to test your patience and we can't always remain calm, but the more you do, the better you get at it.
Create healthy habits by practicing patience, set yourself up for success as much as possible and Live Inspired Now!
The stress caused by impatience can damage your relationships. Becoming more patient will take time and practice. If you would like some extra support while learning to become more patient and stress free, please contact me today!
*Thank you to my amazing husband Thad Paris for helping me write this post!*
1. Determine what/when/where/why you are impatient! Maybe you are impatient with your kids in the morning but no other time of day. Perhaps you are only impatient at work or while driving. Spend a few days really taking note of the people, times of day, or situations that cause you the most stress. You will be able to move on to step 2 if you know what makes you impatient.
2. Set yourself up for success whenever possible! Look for proactive solutions that will remove your impatience triggers. For example: If you know it is the morning rush that makes you most impatient, get up an hour earlier, or lay out the kids clothes the night before, or get a coffee pot with an auto start, etc. Your kids will think you hit your head when you are calm, cool and collected and not barking at them to hurry hurry hurry!
3. Set yourself up for acceptance when you fail! OK, so you won't always be proactive and set the clothes out the night before. Or even if you do set the clothes out, once in awhile something will happen to mess up your best intentions. When this happens, here is your plan: Take deep breaths, assess the situation, make peace with it, and then move forward. Give yourself a break, we are all humans and even the most enlightened of us will lose our patience sometimes. Step 4 will help you make peace when things are out of your control.
4. Take control of the situation by being in control of YOU! When things do get out of hand and your patience has run out, instead of globalizing about how bad everything has become, start to question yourself. Ask yourself a few questions that will help de-escalate the situation such as: Do I have any control over this situation? Will yelling or freaking out really make anyone move faster? Will swearing at the driver in front of me really make him turn? Recognize that you have no control over other people, only yourself. Anxiety, impatience, and stress are "brothers" and they lead to strained relationships, poor health, and disease; start to take steps to avoid them as much as possible! When you start to ask the right questions, you can reason with yourself about the situation.
5. Surround yourself with patient people as often as possible. The saying, "You are a product of your surroundings" is completely true. If you are surrounded by other impatient people, you will tend to behave impatiently, as well. Try moving to a different check out line or drive in the "slow lane" to avoid those impatient people around you. Often times, it may be impractical to completely avoid impatient people (spouses, family members, coworkers, etc...). Instead, try telling them how much better you feel when you practice patience. Share these five steps with them so they can also experience it for themselves.
A few years ago, I decided to examine my own impatience. I determined that I get most impatient in the morning when I am trying to get the day started. I had to get the kids fed and ready for school, make their lunches, write and post my blog, as well as, eat, shower, and get ready for my day. My impatience was in the form of rushing around and getting very frustrated at the kids for going too slow and I was often late for my job at the school. My proactive solutions were to start showering before bed, Thad took over making school lunches and I woke the kids up a little earlier. (The walks out to the bus stop were so much more relaxed and it became a really nice bonding time for me and my younger kids!) At that time, I was driving the teenagers, since I worked at their school. I informed them that my car was leaving the yard at a certain time and if they were not in it, I would leave without them. I was calm yet firm and put the responsibility on them rather than getting impatient every morning and trying to control their every move. My daughter, Madison, missed her ride to school twice and both times she called and begged me to drive home and get her but I refused and patiently explained that I was responsible for getting to work on time and could not accommodate her. (You have no idea how much stress this took off of me!) I could have gone in the bathroom and yelled at her as she showered to "hurry up, hurry up," but chances are she wouldn't have been able to go faster while someone was shouting at her. Nor would this have made either one of us feel very good about it.
Just be clear with your expectations, say what you mean and mean what you say, then follow through. When you can't control the situation, move forward knowing you have done what you said you were going to do and be grateful that you didn't lose patience. Other people will say, do, and think what they want, that is out of your control. A strong person controls him or herself and doesn't let the stress of a situation drive their emotions. Things will happen to test your patience and we can't always remain calm, but the more you do, the better you get at it.
Create healthy habits by practicing patience, set yourself up for success as much as possible and Live Inspired Now!
The stress caused by impatience can damage your relationships. Becoming more patient will take time and practice. If you would like some extra support while learning to become more patient and stress free, please contact me today!
*Thank you to my amazing husband Thad Paris for helping me write this post!*
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
5 Ways to Learn Patience..... um, well......
Today I will test my patience... and maybe yours! lol. So I wanted to write about patience today but several things are hindering my post. My photo program crashed so I can't add my website to the picture above. (Small detail I know, but integral to my marketing plan! lol) Then, I miscalculated my morning and am officially out of time before I have to leave for an appointment. Lastly, my biggest challenge in patience.... I will be spending the day with 7+ kids in our old (empty) house trying to get it clean and mow the lawn so it will be ready for the new buyers!
So to test YOUR patience.... I will not be posting my article 5 ways to maintain patience until tomorrow! :) Will you be patient and return tomorrow? I hope so because I think I will have some very valuable information to share after I have thoroughly tested my patience today! Have a super day folks... please come back tomorrow and learn how to have more patience and Live Inspired Now!
So to test YOUR patience.... I will not be posting my article 5 ways to maintain patience until tomorrow! :) Will you be patient and return tomorrow? I hope so because I think I will have some very valuable information to share after I have thoroughly tested my patience today! Have a super day folks... please come back tomorrow and learn how to have more patience and Live Inspired Now!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Guarantee your kids have healthy relationships...
My12 year old Carrie had a friend over recently to spend the night. After returning Carries friend back home, her mom texted me to tell me that her daughter said of her visit: "I love how in love Thad and Heather are!" How sweet is it that a 12 year old young lady can appreciate a couple in love. It warmed my heart and of course got me thinking....
I spent years as a single mother, my kids never really got to see me in a relationship until a few years ago when Thad and I got together. I am so grateful to be an example of how to have a loving, compassionate, unselfish relationship for my kids.
If you are in a bad relationship, SO ARE YOUR KIDS! They hear, see, feel, and will emulate the relationship you model for them. Be sure that the relationship you have, is one that you would be OK with your kids having. Teach your children to have passion and be compassionate.
Set an example of passion by hugging, kissing, holding hands, smiling, laughing and sitting close or snuggling with one another. It is wonderful for kids to watch their parents happy!
Set an example of compassion by putting your spouses needs first, forgiving mistakes, avoid fighting, and speaking kindly to one another, and about one another.
Pass down the joy and happiness in your relationship to your kids, show them what to look forward to in their future relationships and Live Inspired Now!
Need help getting your relationship on track or ending it with the least possible amount of damage? Contact me today!
I spent years as a single mother, my kids never really got to see me in a relationship until a few years ago when Thad and I got together. I am so grateful to be an example of how to have a loving, compassionate, unselfish relationship for my kids.
If you are in a bad relationship, SO ARE YOUR KIDS! They hear, see, feel, and will emulate the relationship you model for them. Be sure that the relationship you have, is one that you would be OK with your kids having. Teach your children to have passion and be compassionate.
Set an example of passion by hugging, kissing, holding hands, smiling, laughing and sitting close or snuggling with one another. It is wonderful for kids to watch their parents happy!
Set an example of compassion by putting your spouses needs first, forgiving mistakes, avoid fighting, and speaking kindly to one another, and about one another.
Pass down the joy and happiness in your relationship to your kids, show them what to look forward to in their future relationships and Live Inspired Now!
Need help getting your relationship on track or ending it with the least possible amount of damage? Contact me today!
Friday, July 5, 2013
I tried depression... didn't like it....
I was depressed once; then I remembered who I was and what I loved, and I was cured. I love this quote by Mark Epstein: "Depressed people think they know themselves, but maybe they only know depression." This quote really speaks to me because many many years ago, I thought I was depressed too, but I really had lost touch with my true self. I had allowed my circumstances to rule my emotions and rather than changing, I slowly let myself slip away. Over time, I forgot how much I loved to laugh, I forgot the intense joy I felt when helping others, I forgot how good I could feel if I took care of myself, I forgot how much I enjoyed walking outside in nature, I even forgot how much I loved to dress up and feel pretty. Nobody had done this to me, nothing had taken my joy away, yet I had lost so much, I blamed others, and I felt "depressed" and unhappy with the way my life was.
Then one day, in a magical moment, I remembered who I was and what I loved. It hit me instantly, a brief moment of clarity and I was flooded with memories of how much I loved to laugh and to cry! I had not done either in some time, I had been living life completely numbed out, like a zombie. I blamed others for my circumstances, I didn't think love was real and I numbed out on a low dosage of Zoloft because my doctor told me I was "depressed," and I believed him.
That very day, with my moment of clarity, I sped home, dumped the Zoloft in the toilet and never took another pill again! I also stopped drinking soda, stopped eating meat, started to exercise, started listening to high energy music, learned to meditate, hired a personal trainer, dumped the cheaters, abusers and negative people from my life, and moved on!
It is not always an instant epiphany that jolts you from your "depression." For some people, it might be slow but the point is to recognize those moments of clarity and act on them! When you catch yourself remembering your joy and happiness, don't suppress it, embrace and encourage it. Nobody can stop you from feeling good except for you! Make a decision to climb out of the mire and get your life back! Some things will take time but the decision to change happens in an instant. Start today and see how different your life looks in 3, 6, 9 and 12 months from now. Stay stuck and you can still be wishing for change in a year...... let TODAY be the day you free yourself from depression, negativity, and self abuse. Start laughing, loving, be YOU again and Live Inspired Now!
Need help? Contact me today and learn the ways to make it happen! Clinical depression is real and can be treated. However, most "depression" today is misdiagnosed and is actually a learned pattern of many bad habits. Habitual depression can be cured with behavior modification, and a desire for change. I look forward to teaching YOU the tools to change your life!
Then one day, in a magical moment, I remembered who I was and what I loved. It hit me instantly, a brief moment of clarity and I was flooded with memories of how much I loved to laugh and to cry! I had not done either in some time, I had been living life completely numbed out, like a zombie. I blamed others for my circumstances, I didn't think love was real and I numbed out on a low dosage of Zoloft because my doctor told me I was "depressed," and I believed him.
That very day, with my moment of clarity, I sped home, dumped the Zoloft in the toilet and never took another pill again! I also stopped drinking soda, stopped eating meat, started to exercise, started listening to high energy music, learned to meditate, hired a personal trainer, dumped the cheaters, abusers and negative people from my life, and moved on!
It is not always an instant epiphany that jolts you from your "depression." For some people, it might be slow but the point is to recognize those moments of clarity and act on them! When you catch yourself remembering your joy and happiness, don't suppress it, embrace and encourage it. Nobody can stop you from feeling good except for you! Make a decision to climb out of the mire and get your life back! Some things will take time but the decision to change happens in an instant. Start today and see how different your life looks in 3, 6, 9 and 12 months from now. Stay stuck and you can still be wishing for change in a year...... let TODAY be the day you free yourself from depression, negativity, and self abuse. Start laughing, loving, be YOU again and Live Inspired Now!
Need help? Contact me today and learn the ways to make it happen! Clinical depression is real and can be treated. However, most "depression" today is misdiagnosed and is actually a learned pattern of many bad habits. Habitual depression can be cured with behavior modification, and a desire for change. I look forward to teaching YOU the tools to change your life!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Happy 4th of July!!!
Monday, July 1, 2013
GOODbye!
You can find the good in everything if you look hard enough and believe in the bigger picture. Goodbyes are often for the best even if you don't recognize it at the time. Have faith and believe that the Universe has something really awesome in store for you and Live Inspired Now!
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