Tuesday, January 21, 2014

What does YOUR relationship say about YOU?

If you have read my book, you know how many times I have been married. Yet, I still very much believe in the sanctity of marriage. With that said, I ALSO believe in marriage education! There is currently no school curriculum that teaches children how to enter into and maintain healthy relationships. If these relationships are not modeled for them at home, how will they learn?

With today's divorce rate being so high, and single parent households being so common, kids are rarely subjected to healthy and happy marriages or partnerships. I don't define marriage, I only encourage it to be healthy. Your family definition is your business, but teaching you to be healthy and happy is mine!

Not all marriages are meant to last, and how could they be? Too many people get so caught up in the excitement of the wedding, the drama, the attention, the fun that they forget the excitement will eventually come to an end. Once that happens, if they don't know how to communicate with their partner, the relationship will suffer. When the music stops, we need to know how to appreciate the silence. Love ebbs and flows, and we need to teach our young people how to weather the storm. Not only that, but we need to teach young people HOW to choose the right person for them. Young people NEED to know: the difference between love and infatuation, how to put one another first above all else, and to be completely vulnerable and honest with one another. Until we teach young people relationship skills, we will continue to have people getting divorced in record numbers.

During one of my recent speaking engagements, a woman, in her 50's, approached me after my talk. She stated that she was unhappily married to her second husband, and that she often took comfort in the fact that he was 20 years older than her, which meant that he may "die much sooner than me." She then went on to say "Oh, I know that is awful, but I often think about it." Here is what I said to her in response: "It isn't awful to say that, it's human. But do you want to be the type of human that wishes death for your spouse just so you don't have to take action? You have the opportunity every day to make changes!" I also mentioned that she wasn't really doing him any great favors by staying with him and that he might be happier to be alone than to be with a wife who dreams of his death.

This is not uncommon folks. I hear these types of things ALL THE TIME! What I don't hear a lot of though, is people taking personal responsibility for their own lives, choices, behaviors, and relationships. How much are you really doing to make your relationship work? Have you really considered your potential spouse in the long term? Have you read any books or taken any workshops about healthy relationships? Have you learned how to communicate effectively? And most of all, what steps are you taking to ensure your kids learn these skills?

Learn how to choose the right partner. Learn how to communicate in a manner that gets your point across without hurting your significant other. Learn some simple tools that will teach you how to have a successful relationship. Then, model that behavior for your children. Learn how to create lasting love, and Live Inspired Now!

PS: Please reach out to me today if you need help with your current relationship, or if you would like me to teach you how to pick a better partner going forward. I can give you the tools to make your relationships happy and healthy with the best possible chance of success! I look forward to helping you find true, lasting love! I can also teach you how to teach your children to have healthy relationships despite your current circumstances!

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