Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Is YOUR life flying by too?

My life seems to be rapidly changing. I know it has not been sudden, but it feels sudden. "Suddenly" I have no children in elementary school, they are now all 7th graders and above. As well, my "baby" Madison, left for basic training today. Yes, basic training, you heard me right! She is now in the Air Force; this is unbelievable since it was just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital in her car seat. She slept in that car seat for 3 months because I was paranoid about her sleeping in the crib. In the car seat, she could be belted in and sleep right next to me so I could keep her safe.

I had postpartum depression after having Madison and for a while I wanted to kill myself. I literally would rock her in the rocking chair and my tears would fall onto her sleeping body. With each rock, forward and back, I would see myself jumping out of the window with Madison in my arms, killing us both. It was a scary time and Madison was the only one there for me. She didn't know it, she was only weeks old, but it was her little face that got me through one of the toughest times in my life. I never told anyone what was going on with me back then, so I was isolated, but Madison was always there. She cried, she was fussy and demanding and it was her needs that kept me from focusing on how badly I was feeling. I sat with Madison for hours each day, talking, reading, and playing classical music. It is no wonder she said her first word "mama" at only 5 1/2 months and was walking by 9 months. I put all my energy into raising this amazing kid, and somehow, the postpartum depression eventually left me. It wasn't until many years later that I realized what had been wrong with me.

Madison was (and still is) brilliant and now she has gone off to basic training. She willingly signed up to protect and serve our country. Though completely choked up and still in shock at how time flies, I could not be more proud.

This "soldier" is still my baby. Still the fearless little girl who once screamed "I LOVE YOU MOMMY" at the top of her lungs in the center of a quieted riding arena during a horse show. Still the crazy little girl who made her cousin cry when she scratched the eyes off of his painted pumpkin. Still the innocent and excited little birthday girl who couldn't believe that "Barney the dinosaur" came to her party. Still my little girl who cried after her first broken heart. Still my sweet helper who always took care of her friends. Oh, I could go on forever with this but with tears in my eyes, I must remember that she is NOW a young woman, creating her own amazing life and I am deeply proud. I am proud that she is kind, loving, willing to take some risks, and that no matter how grown up she is, she is still my little girl.

Today, hug your babies, before you know it, they are off on their amazing lives! Focus on building good relationships with your kids now, instead of thinking about what they will do when they grow up. Enjoy life and Live Inspired Now!

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